Written by Inchcock
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Saturday, 26 November 2011

image for Political News for W/E 26th Nov 2011 - with comments NHS nurses, photographed at work this week

20 Nov 2011: Ministers deny claims of cutting clinical jobs in NHS

The Guardian

The main nursing union was embroiled in a furious row with ministers last night after claiming that 58,000 doctors, nurses, midwives and other NHS staff have lost or are due to lose their jobs, despite David Cameron's pledge to protect front line health workers from the brunt of the cuts.

Analysis by the Royal College of Nursing, which warns of an impending crisis in the NHS, says clinical posts make up 49% of the 56,058 job losses in the workforce, with nursing posts accounting for 34% of the jobs already lost or earmarked to be cut.

David Cameron and Andrew Lansley, the health secretary, have promised repeatedly that frontline staff would be protected from the effects of £20bn in efficiency savings to the NHS being carried out over three years as part of efforts to reduce the national deficit.

* I have been removed from the Anticoagulation Clinic's list of attendees, and been sent to the Blood Test Centre, to have my Warfarin levels tested weekly or whenever instructed.

The test centre, then pass the blood to the Anticoagulation Clinic

I go home and await the Anticoagulation Clinic informing me by phone (despite my informing them of the obvious to them fact that I wear two hearing aids because I suffer from hearing difficulties, especially on the phone), of the required dosage and the next attendance date.

The next day (or so) I receive a conformation of details form which requires me to fill in any changes, and take this back with me to the Blood Centre on my next arranged visit, to the Blood Test Centre who forward it to the Anticoagulation Clinic.

The Anticoagulation Clinic Pharmacist explained that staff had been cut-back, more patients were being allocated to them, and it was cheaper for the NHS for me to go through all the rigmarole I now have to.

My appointment at the Cardiac Rehabilitation Unit has been cancelled and put back.

Staff at the Cardiac Rehabilitation House has they tell me, been cut-back

Thank you Mr Cameron and Clegg.

If ever you are in my neighbourhood (as if!), drop in and see me, we can have a gossip and drink. (Cyanide)

23rd Nov 2011: Voting Intentions Poll

The Sun

Conservatives 38%

Labour 40%

Lib Dems 8%

Others 14%

I see the Liberal's have dropped another point - can't understand that!

21 Nov 2011: Duty freeze - Osborne 'trims welfare benefits to stop fuel rise'

The Guardian

The move will be discussed by Mr Osborne, PM David Cameron, his deputy Nick Clegg and Treasury Chief Secretary Danny Alexander next week.

'Next week? Glad they think it so urgent!'

21 Nov 2011: William Hague will meet Syrian rebel leaders in London today as the UK seeks to increase the pressure on President Bashar Assad.

BT/Yahoo News

Representatives of the Syrian National Council and the National Co-ordination Committee for Democratic Change will visit William Hague after months of diplomatic contact behind-the-scenes.

Mr Hague told the BBC the UK was "not at the point of formal recognition" of the groups at this stage.

Wonder if they'll meet in a hotel bedroom?

22 Nov 2011: New road tolls hit motorists - but MPs won't need to pay!

Daily Mirror

Ministers pushing for tolled lanes on congested roads will be able to claim back the cost of using them on expenses.

George Osborne wants private companies to build dedicated expressways, dubbed Lexus lanes, beside busy sections of motorways and trunk roads to ease traffic.

But the news that MPs will be able to use the lanes without paying fees out of their own pocket will cause anger among motorists who already pay £30billion a year in road tax and fuel duty.

Yesterday, MPs' expenses watchdog IPSA said it thought it was "fair and reasonable" for them to claim back charges if the journey was for work.

MPs can claim the £5.30 cost of using the M6 toll and Transport for London's £10 Congestion Charge on their journey to and from their constituencies.

How much more of this nepotism can we take?

22 Nov 2011: 3 Nottingham Youths convicted of 365 crimes

Nottingham Evening Post

Three Nottingham youths have been convicted of 365 crimes, house burglary and vehicle crimes.

They were sentenced to a total of 17 years imprisonment.

That works out at 17 days for each crime! Has anyone told Nottinghamshire's local MP and Minister of Secretary of State for Justice, that this sentence is no deterrent to violent criminals?

23 Nov 2011: Infestation nation: Why Britain is being overrun by pests - cutbacks!

The Indepedant

There's something nasty and it is no longer just lurking in the woodpile. A "perfect storm" of public-sector cuts, falling living standards, the growth in the rental sector and the unseasonally warm weather is prompting an explosion in infestations in British homes.

Well I think there are more rats in the House of Parliament as well!

24 Nov 2011: David Cameron faces questions after daughter of lobbyist pal gets plum job with PM's old friend!

The Daily Mirror

Cameron faces fresh questions over links to a top lobbyist after revelations that Lord Chadlington's daughter has landed a plum job with one of his oldest friends.

Naomi Gummer, the peer's eldest daughter, works with Rachel Whetstone at the public policy division of internet giant Google.

It comes after news that Mr Cameron made a £137,000 property deal with the peer.

Ms Gummer, 27, moved to Google from Whitehall, where she sparked fury by being "parachuted" into a job as assistant to culture ­secretary Jeremy Hunt.

* The PM's spokesman insisted he had not pulled any strings and on Google said: "Naomi was employed on merit. It is unfair and untrue to suggest otherwise."

* "What a load of old tosh!"

* Nepotism at its finest!"

25 Nov 2011: Nottingham Police seized cars yesterday as part of a week of action in Basford.

Nottingham Evening Post

By 11.30am one driver had been arrested on suspicion of driving while disqualified, five vehicles had been taken off the road and a number of fixed penalty notices had been handed out.

The operation in Vernon Road was part of the crackdown involving a range of agencies.

The city council is aiming to make eight neighbourhoods better, cleaner, safer, healthier places to live each year under its Week of Action programme.

"Week of Action - what happens in the other 51 weeks of the year then?"

25 Nov 2011: UK Unemployment to Worsen

The Indepedent

Ministers expect the independent Office for Budget Responsibility to downgrade its previous prediction that public sector job cuts will be outweighed by a significant expansion in the private sector. "The figures will be grim," one minister said."

"Oh dear, I hope this will not mean that Cameron, Clegg, and Hague have to cut back on the Dom Perignon, and cut-back their domestic staff or 24 hour protection officers!"

26 Nov 2011: A new return to Victorian values: Radical plans to make it easier for employers to sack their workers could soon become a reality.

The Inependent

Mr Cable has watered down a proposal backed by David Cameron for all firms to be able to sack poorly performing staff without the risk of being taken to an employment tribunal. If that does go ahead after a review, it will only apply in small firms.

The plan was put forward by Adrian Beecroft, a Conservative Party donor, and championed by Steve Hilton, Mr Cameron's protégée, and strategy adviser.

I carried out an on the spot survey in Nottingham City centre, to find out the views of the local riff-raff. Of the ten people interviewed, 9 said they didn't mind. The other one had a job and was not pleased!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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