Written by Inchcock
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Thursday, 17 November 2011

image for 18 Indications that the UK Economy is Dodgy! No. 16 - William Hague cut-backs

18. When you start getting less than 25 take-away leaflets through your door each day.

17. When the rioters torch police stations, without using petrol, just wood and old newspapers.

16. When William Hague cuts down his posh hotel room weekend rendezvous to with only one male assistant.

15. Shop assistants start to say please, and thank you.

14. Suicide is made legal, pills available @ 20p each from the Job Centre Plus offices. (Cost deducted from social security payouts)

13. People start picking up pennies and two-pence pieces from the pavement.

12. When Company Director's start playing miniature golf.

11. You buy a car, and the salesman tells you if you buy two, you can get a free bank!

10. Oxfam shops make more profit than Vauxhall cars.

9. David Cameron pays less the £200 an hour to his foreign advisors.

8. McDonalds introduce the ¼ ounce Big Mac.

7. Government Ministers start to fire their nannies and learn their children's names.

6. Somalia starts donating aid money to the British Government.

5. The Drug barons start laying off MPs.

4. Government Ministers stop hiring accountancy firms to work out their expenses.

3. Credit cards are replaced with bus-passes.

2. The Prime Minister moves from using Andrex, to Asda toilet rolls.

And the #1 indicator of all:

1. If the bank returns your cheque marked as "Insufficient funds," you need to call them to ask if they meant you or them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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