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Sunday, 6 November 2011

image for Political News for W/E 6 Nov 2011 - with comments We could not find Iain Duncan Smith

1 Nov 2011: Jack Straw took undeclared cash from car insurance industry
The former Labour cabinet minister Jack Straw was paid £5,000 by the motor insurance industry for a speech and question-and-answer session - a payment he did not declare when amendments affecting such firms were tabled last week.

Well, I am surprised!


1 Nov 2011: Cuts to education, benefits and pensions
Likely to lead to deeper inequalities in the future, says £180,000 leading social policy think-tank.

And it took an expensive spoon-in-the-mouth growth of hurray Henry's in the think-tank to come up with this statement?


2 Nov 2011: Justice Minister Ken Clarke MP QC:
Claimed that 'Squatters are as bad as thieves' today.

Would that include the Tax fiddling MPs?

The nepotistic back hand taking Minister's?

The tax evading Minister's?

The 74 MPs charged with criminal offences this year to date?

Perhaps not eh?


3 Nov 2011: Daily Mirror reports Cameron Slopes off for Wine Tasting Session
The Prime Minister arrived late for the Commonwealth summit in Perth on Friday and postponed meetings complaining that he was too tired after his flight.

But although only on a 38-hour trip, he still found time to tour the Sandalford wine estate, in Swan Valley, and had a tipple before leaving the gathering.

Asked why he had skipped the summit's final day and official dinner, Australian PM Julia Gillard was left to make excuses of "pressures on time given the global economy".

Nothing to do with his wife having shares in the wine company we're assured!

4 Nov 2011: Immigration Minister Damian Green admitted "UK Government 'Loses' 139,000 Asylum Seekers in Six Months"
UK Border Agency figures showed the number of "lost" cases had tripled in six months from 40,500 in March to 139,000 in October.

We assume this figure does not include the estimated 500 a day illegal immigrants being smuggled in via France daily, in transport vehicles, Ferries, Eurostar, and at isolated beaches.


4 Nov 2011 Ed Miliband yesterday repaid £1,725, claimed in "an administrative error"
For Three months' rent on his constituency flat in Doncaster that was claimed for and paid twice.

'And it only took him eight months to realise?'


Barclay's Bank Fat-cat moans
Bob Diamond claimed that Barclay's "suffered" during the global recession just like everyone else.

The bank chief, who took home £8million last year - and an astonishing £63million the year before.

He said yesterday: "Barclays also suffered during the crash of 2008-09. We suffered because of the failures of other UK banks."

Ffion Hague (Barlcays Bank Advisor and wife of William Hague, will be out with other millionaires selling SOB (Save Our Banks) badges in an effect to raise funds to alleviate the suffering of Bank Chiefs.


Labour's Grahame Morris said: "His comments won't wash with the public who are paying a high price as a result of the reckless actions of the casino bankers."
Multi-millionaire William Hague's millionaire wife Ffion, who is a paid Barclay's 'Advisor', and no doubt advised her pretty husband Willie to grant the billion pound rescue of Barclay's to go ahead, was unavailable for comment.


6/11/2011: Coalition Ministers are paying consultants up to £2,000 a day!
While sacking thousands of public sector workers.

The fees were paid to private firms/advisors, like Ffion Hague, the wife of The Right Honourable William Hague, First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs. The woman that Barclays bank paid as an advisor when they seeked a billion pound rescue loan of the tax payers money, and her husband was a man who made the decision to go ahead with the rescue!

Here are some of the figures of consultants/advisors used, exposed:

Health Secretary Andrew Landsley's department employs 114.

Business Secretary Vince Cable's team employs 87.

Iain Duncan Smith's Work and Pensions, employs 84.

Michael Gove's Education Dep't, employs 74.

Philip Hammond's Transport, employs 74.


We tried to contact some of the Ministers to get their views, but one was on sponsored holiday in Barbados to discuss the Greek problem with the daughter of the Australian Deputy Prime Minister's next door neighbour, Tanya Hyde, so was unavailable to comment.

William Hague, also unavailable, he was busy explaining the intricacies of his navel to his assistants Avery Niceman, and Ron De-vue in a hotel bedroom.

Michael Gove was on a fact finding holiday interviewing a 24 year-old teacher from Romania, Ida Downe, in a hotel bedroom in Paris.

Vince Cable was unavailable due to he and his team being out in the streets searching through the refuse bins.

We could not find Iain Duncan Smith, who was last seen playing with his Rubik Cube in the luxury House Of Commons toilets.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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