Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Friday, 28 October 2011

image for What do Germans think about the Euro-bailout? Fava beans anyone?

The Eurozone looks to be safe for the next few weeks after the heads of the 17 countries which use the Euro agreed to stuff more money in envelopes and throw them at Greece. But what do ordinary sausage-slapping Germans think of it? Germany has the most to lose from the current bailouts, as it is the richest country in the Eurozone - as well as the most warmongering.

We asked several ordinary Germans what they thought about the current crisis and the latest events.

Willy from Berlin is a civil servant. "I haven't heard about any financial problems. But then I can't stop thinking about last night - we had my mother-in-law over for dinner. My wife dressed her up really well, she was absolutely delicious. She did make a lot of noise though, especially the bones. But at least we won't have to worry about her coming over any more."

Helga, a housewife from Munich, said "I have seen that the price of lederhosen is rising, but it's not really a problem because they last a long time. My husband always comes home really filthy and dirty, and he just wants to get changed and stuck into his dinner. Luckily our local orphanage had a couple of deaths recently, so we had plenty of fresh meat for making sausages."

Gottfried of Hamburg is a stockbroker. He said, "As a stockbroker, I am directly involved in the financial crisis. Today at lunch time I was a little bit nervous about the markets, and I accidentally ate my boss. It's a shame as I was meant to be saving him for next week."

Unemployed Otto from Dusseldorf says his prospects are not good. "I put an advert in the newspaper for a job but I got no responses. Unlike my advert for human victims willing to be eaten, which got 73 replies. It will take me months to work through all of them."

Adolfetta is a prison warden from Leipzig. "Ja, we reached nearly full capacity in the prison last week. So we had to draw straws to decide which of the prisoners would get eaten. It was a bit sad to see big Hilda go, but the inmates really loved gnawing on her flabby bones."

So, it would appear that it's business as usual for the Germans. Perhaps we should all follow their lead and be less panicky about the financial crisis. After all, what's the "wurst" that can happen?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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