Written by MonkeyInTheBath

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Friday, 21 October 2011

image for A Letter From Auntie

Dear me,
I can't remember your name, dear, but never mind. It's me, your Auntie.

How are you doing? I'm not too bad. The operation went well but I still can't walk straight. I'll send you some photographs once the swelling has gone down a bit.

Last week I had a terrible shock at the bingo, I won £10. I had a slap-up dinner of pork scratchings that night, let me tell you.

I've nearly saved up enough money for a holiday now, but I can't decide where to go. I had my heart set on Somalia, but what will all the piracy and murders and the like I think Eastbourne might be better.

I've included some of my clippings for your collection. I hope they're long enough, but I usually wax that area.

Lots of love,
Auntie Septic

PS. Your family all died in a freak tractor accident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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