Written by Jeff Brone
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Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Wall Street Occupiers have announced their list of Demands:

1. All debts are automatically forgiven, unless someone we don't
like owes them.

2. Less urine pooling around our sleeping bags.

3. Every day is Christmas, or at least Boxing Day.

4. Better vibes, you dig?

5. Eliminate the cost of essential items. Most to be paid for by
performing a scene from "Godspell."

6. Minimum wage raised to $20. Option available to be paid in
stained tee shirts.

7. Corporations are no longer to be treated like people. Except
those Ben and Jerry dudes.

8. We demand to be seen as a symbol of the working class, except for the working part.

9. Anyone who has more money than you do is kind of a douche.

10. If you can't be with the one you love, baby, love the one you're with.

11. Free education for everyone. The Three Stooges film where they sing "Bee-Ay Bay, Bee-Eee Bee" counts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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