Funny story: It's Pope Francis vs. the Eight Ball in a know-it-all shootout

It's Pope Francis vs. the Eight Ball in a know-it-all shootout

New York City - What does Pope Francis have in common with The Magic Eight Ball? They both are infallible, possessing the magical ability of always providing the right answer at the right time. But there is one question that they haven't examined: who between the two is the smartest? The ball? Or the bishop? The Institute for the Intensely Intelligent recently conducted an Infallibility Face-...
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Pokémon: The Terrible Terrifying Truth

Another brutal day at work. Another round of layoffs hit your firm so you grudgingly accept Fate's cruel hand and settle into the humdrum monotony of missed deadlines, angry emails, and screaming bosses. You finally arrive at your sanctuary: home, a bastion of refuge against the assaulting waves of crap called life. As you kick off your shoes, the glow of a portable screen plastered to the face of...
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Whatever Happened to Punky Brewster?

Hoff here. I had a hard time deciding whether I should even bother with a subject like Television. In such cases, I just sleep on it. That usually helps. So I slept through a one-hour cop show, and two sitcoms, and decided to throw this out there. Television used to be like the friend who'd stop in for a visit every night from 7 to 10 for a chat. Sometime we'd talk about the news and sports. He...
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Funny story: VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...
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Funny story: Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

New Yorkers are made, not born. So no matter where you come from, you can make the greatest city in the world your hometown. Take this quiz to find out how close you are. And remember to pick up after your pooch. It's the law! 1. What was the real reason Michael Bloomberg banned Big Gulp drinks? A. His fear of drowning. B. Can't "hold it in" as well as he used to. C. Confused corn syru...
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Book Review - How To Speak French: Learn French Phrases by Henri Lereau

I have to say I am a little disappointed by this book. I spent 6 months studying the French language, going through this book meticulously, I read it chapter by chapter - probably 10 times. After 6 months my french was perfect - in fact I consider myself fluent in the language. It wasn't easy mind you; no - it was hard - but I thought it well worth the effort. Imagine then, to my horror, wh...
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Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...
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Funny story: ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...
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Breaking News...

Donald Trump and Dick Cheny Play Round of Golf, Both Claim Record Scores

Dick Cheney and Donald Trump both announced after their round of golf together that they each had shot an 18, a hole-in-one on every hole.


 
Funny story: Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
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Funny story: Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

The leader of Scamatology, diminutive Davy Makemerich, has been dodging questions for years about his missing wife, Smelly. At the same time that this drama has been going on, Wee Davy has been collecting money from Scamatologists for the Super Power building, which he says will give worthy cult members various super-powers--including the ability to find parking places INSTANTLY. When Davy open...
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Funny story: Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

A new drug has been developed to combat what its manufacturers' claim is an increasing rise in what it calls "conspiracy theory syndrome". We went along to F.U. Pharamceuticals in Baltimore to interview leading research scientist there Dr. Hugh.B.Still. I asked the doctor: "Do you believe there is a need for this drug?" "Our research shows that the need is overwhelming. We see the syndrom...
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Funny story: James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

Much has been spoken about the ugly spat between James Anderson and Ravindra Jadeja during the 1st Test match at Trent Bridge. Apparently, Jadeja's bat had a secret mic, that recorded the entire conversation. Wondering how the bat had a mic? Well, it belongs to Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Not just a mic, it may also have weapons for all we know. Here's what really happened (and by really happened, we...
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Funny story: How Do You Know You're In A Cult?

How Do You Know You're In A Cult?

If you wake up in a squalid, dirty room, sleeping on the floor, no money, and being shouted at to start working your 19 hour day, you might be in a cult. There are usually signs to let you know the friendly group of people that seem to really love you a lot might be a cult. The first sign of a cult is the presence of a leader that is venerated, even worshiped, beyond reason, while his words...
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Funny story: You can get Placebo Orgasm

You can get Placebo Orgasm

This is based on pure science, so put your skepticism aside for a moment while I try and explain how it works. The initial study was conducted on placebo sleep. Once it was found to work, experts such as myself attempted to apply the method to other areas. Sex, and orgasm specifically, was deemed most problematical, causing serious lack in gratification. So we conducted a study on the writer of...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton at Club Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters for meeting with ISIS in Iraq

Hillary Clinton at Club Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters for meeting with ISIS in Iraq

Pepe Warezabar here, just returned to Baghdad, and speaking into my laptop after rendezvous in Mosul with Hillary and the leader of ISIS. On the way there, yes, it was the orange Honda with plenty of dust, thank the bejeezus, me with pedal to the metal and Hillary in black burqa and wraparounds. Was she nervous? Who wasn't. Look, those claw marks on my right forearm could have come from anyw...
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Funny story: What Price 'Democracy'?

What Price 'Democracy'?

A new law has been passed in Washington. Nobody with assets of less than $50 million will henceforth be allowed to stand for political office. President Obama has announced the move as a "triumph for democracy". George Bush said it was "long overdue" and is a welcome move in the "war against terrorism". Pope Francis has sent a telegram of congratulations saying "God and the Banco Ambrosian...
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bartlebysnopes
bartlebysnopes
Joined: 23 January 2008
Stories Written: 36

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