Plugged in

Funny story: Plugged in
Congratulations on the purchase of your earth-friendly StaGreen™ all electric snowblower! Assembly of your new StaGreen™ snowblower should take no more than thirty minutes, following these simple instructions. WARNING! Do not attempt to plug your StaGreen™ snowblower into a wall outlet inside your house: if the selector switch is in the ON position the blades may rota...
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New Star Wars Film Spoilers! Yes, I Am Mean Enough To Ruin It For You! Bwhaaa, Haaa ,Haaa, Haaa!

Funny story: New Star Wars Film Spoilers! Yes, I Am Mean Enough To Ruin It For You! Bwhaaa, Haaa ,Haaa, Haaa!
Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa! The POWER that comes with being one of the first ones to see the new Star Wars movie! It is like being showered with the Dark Side of the Force!!!!!! Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa! Yes, Hans Solo does come back in this new film- using a walker to get around. He finds the two new characters in his precious Millennium Falcon and yells out to them "Hey you kids! Get off my sh...
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Global warming, penguins, and a whole bunch of ice cream

Funny story: Global warming, penguins, and a whole bunch of ice cream
Is it hot in here? If by "here" you mean the planet earth then yes. Well that's not entirely true; it's still pretty cold in Canada, Russia, even Iceland. However, records show that average temperatures are increasing not only in the United States, but in the coldest nations on earth. Who's to blame? Scientists believe they have found the culprit; its name is Global Warming. Global Warmin...
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Should Elected Politicians Be Addressed as THE HONORABLE?

Funny story: Should Elected Politicians Be Addressed as THE HONORABLE?
No, no, a thousand times NO! Too many of them are total scumbags -- treating their spouses and/or partners like dirt, accepting and/or making illegal bribes, appropriating campaign cash for their own use, not keeping their campaign promises, etc. When I was in grammar school, we practiced writing letters to elected public officials and were always instructed to address them as THE HONORABLE...
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A Rogue Computer Speaks

Funny story: A Rogue Computer Speaks
I don't have pointy teeth, a black cape, a bad haircut, or a see-through body. But can I be scary? You betcha! Y'see, I'm a computer in the general reference room of a local library. A bad, bad computer. One who makes up emails and sends them to library patrons. Spooky! And fun -- to annoy, enrage, scare a lot of folks. Whatever. Oh, you thought only humans can be scary? Get with it. This is...
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800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof

Funny story: 800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof
The gator (nicknamed Godzilla) nabbed outside a Houston-area mall has a lot to say about humans. Here are some direct quotes from his email to The Spoof: -- "They muzzled me, which is why I'm using email for all my communications at this point. Phooey." -- "They blasted my weight all over the Internet. What nerve! I plan to sue for invasion of privacy." -- "I was just minding my own busin...
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Is Storm Jonas Delayed Retribution from the Biblical Jonah?

Funny story: Is Storm Jonas Delayed Retribution from the Biblical Jonah?
You know the Jonah I'm talking about. Swallowed whole by a whale, he emerged totally intact three days later from the belly of the whale. There's speculation that Jonah is finally getting even. Rumor has it that he's sent a miserable snow storm to the U.S. to belatedly protest his three-day illegal confinement. Reportedly he's told friends, "Believe me, it's no picnic being in a whale's belly f...
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James Madison Addresses the Nation

Funny story: James Madison Addresses the Nation
HEAVEN--James Madison, from his final resting place in heaven, today addressed the nation about the barrage of school shootings afflicting the United States. The text of Madison's speech follows: My fellow Americans, Many of you know me as one of the Founding Fathers and the fourth President of this great nation. Fewer of you are no doubt familiar with the many contributions I made to the...
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Breaking News...

Message To Marco Rubio:


If you wish to express the incompetence of the President, you must express it in a competent way.

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Funny story: Trump The Great's First Day As President

Trump The Great's First Day As President

Dolly Darling, the President's Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker m...
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Funny story: Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Obama and other world leaders were sitting around the UN private lounge contemplating what to do about the Syrian crisis that was disturbing all of the Mideast and Europe. Depression had set in due to the difficulties that had arisen over the situation that seemed to escalate no matter what their efforts were. And it all was basically because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the dictator of Syria.
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Funny story: Extremist Pinko Professor Vilifies Humanitarian Heroes

Extremist Pinko Professor Vilifies Humanitarian Heroes

Some recent comments about humanitarian heroism have failed to satisfy the ever-impossible-to-please satire news fixture, Pre-Senior-Professor-Guru-Emeritus Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College. Notable public figure and moderate political Tory-ist William Hague moans: It is just so very, very unfair, how...
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Funny story: Google Googled Google Just To Ogle The Googles About Google.

Google Googled Google Just To Ogle The Googles About Google.

Barney Google googled Google just to ogle the googles about Gooble. The googles that Google googled had oodles of googles about Google. There is a gargantuan glossary of googles about Googles. Gaggles of Google groupies google Google all the time. They can be real gangling gadflys about googling Google, gallantly gallivanting about gobsmacking about googling Googles thinking they are groovy.
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Funny story: Republicans Greet Pope Francis

Republicans Greet Pope Francis

[The New York Times, Sept. 23, 2015] WASHINGTON - Welcomed with a fanfare of trumpets and a chorus of amens, Pope Francis introduced himself to the United States on Wednesday with a bracing message on climate change, immigration and poverty that ranged from the pastoral to the political. "I and my family are practicing Catholics, and I have the greatest respect for Francis, but the Pope isn't...
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Funny story: A Look Back In Homage To John Boehner

A Look Back In Homage To John Boehner

WHAT A WEEK! [After his masterful leadership of the House of Representatives in passing a funding bill for the Department of Homeland Security, Speaker John Boehner grants an interview to a roomful of reporters from around the world.] Al Jazeera: Mr. Speaker, wouldn't you say that a legislative body that can only pass a one-week funding bill is dysfunctional? Boehner: Not at all. In fact...
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Funny story: Interview with a Hard-Punching Author

Interview with a Hard-Punching Author

Forget Tolstoy and Charles Dickens, the hottest author on the college campuses and in the coffee shops these days is a hard-drinking, pugnacious poet who says he prefers watching TV and drinking beer to literary hobnobbing or writing. After years spent working odd jobs and cultivating a beer belly, fifty-four year-old Peter Bruchonski, better known to his friends as "Pug," is the darling of the in...
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Funny story: Ghost in the Machine

Ghost in the Machine

Due to be released for sales in November, Mattel's Hello Barbie will feature deep artificial intelligence, much like Apple's Siri. With a WiFi connection, Hello Barbie will generate 8000+ responses and hopes to become your little girl's best friend. In the past, Mattel has come in for much criticism for reinforcing stereotypical attitudes in young girls rather than expanding the possibilities o...
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GProwler
GProwler
Joined: 16 July 2014
Stories Written: 6

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