Funny story: Confessions of a Spam Filter

Confessions of a Spam Filter

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
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Pokémon: The Terrible Terrifying Truth

Another brutal day at work. Another round of layoffs hit your firm so you grudgingly accept Fate's cruel hand and settle into the humdrum monotony of missed deadlines, angry emails, and screaming bosses. You finally arrive at your sanctuary: home, a bastion of refuge against the assaulting waves of crap called life. As you kick off your shoes, the glow of a portable screen plastered to the face of...
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Whatever Happened to Punky Brewster?

Hoff here. I had a hard time deciding whether I should even bother with a subject like Television. In such cases, I just sleep on it. That usually helps. So I slept through a one-hour cop show, and two sitcoms, and decided to throw this out there. Television used to be like the friend who'd stop in for a visit every night from 7 to 10 for a chat. Sometime we'd talk about the news and sports. He...
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Funny story: VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...
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Funny story: Shock Discovery by Dawkins, Pinker: It's All Socially Constructed

Shock Discovery by Dawkins, Pinker: It's All Socially Constructed

A group of prominent evolutionary scientists, once previously fiercely opposed to the po-mo pretensions of well-tenured intellectuals, have now been suitably chastened by a recent scandalous discovery. Yes… time, gravity and even cheesy Doritos are actually social constructed™ after all. Kein Scheisse Scherlock, it's the Absolute Truth! Genial and witty project leader Professor Richard...
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History's Misquotes Come to Light

Washington, DC In a history convention held in the nation's capitol, many facts came to light regarding some of history's most famous quotes. For instance, John Paul Jones did say "Don't Give up the Ship!" but he added the line, "Sell it Instead!" When Patrick Henry said "Give me liberty or give me death," history misplaced the part where he said, "On second thought, just give me liberty."...
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Fun facts about cremation

I'm thinking about getting cremated. Well, not today. I think I'll wait until I'm dead. But here's a little fun fact about cremation: You can have your ashes mailed to a loved one. I don't think so. My ashes would get lost in the mail and I would have to file a missing ash report. Hold on, Cousin Willie, I know what you're thinking. You would replace the letter h in the word ash with th...
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Funny story: Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

New Yorkers are made, not born. So no matter where you come from, you can make the greatest city in the world your hometown. Take this quiz to find out how close you are. And remember to pick up after your pooch. It's the law! 1. What was the real reason Michael Bloomberg banned Big Gulp drinks? A. His fear of drowning. B. Can't "hold it in" as well as he used to. C. Confused corn syru...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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Funny story: Book Review - How To Speak French: Learn French Phrases by Henri Lereau

Book Review - How To Speak French: Learn French Phrases by Henri Lereau

I have to say I am a little disappointed by this book. I spent 6 months studying the French language, going through this book meticulously, I read it chapter by chapter - probably 10 times. After 6 months my french was perfect - in fact I consider myself fluent in the language. It wasn't easy mind you; no - it was hard - but I thought it well worth the effort. Imagine then, to my horror, wh...
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Funny story: Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...
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Funny story: Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
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Funny story: ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...
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Funny story: Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

The leader of Scamatology, diminutive Davy Makemerich, has been dodging questions for years about his missing wife, Smelly. At the same time that this drama has been going on, Wee Davy has been collecting money from Scamatologists for the Super Power building, which he says will give worthy cult members various super-powers--including the ability to find parking places INSTANTLY. When Davy open...
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Funny story: Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Today the White House released a letter that arrived a few days ago, and after clearing a mysterious white powder from the envelope, the enclosed apparent letter from Bashar Assad was found: Dear Mostly Finks and Bastards, I want to send my heart felt (or maybe it was just gas) warmest thanks for helping us with I-SIS. Here to fore I thought you bastards didn't like me for some reason. Oh I...
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Funny story: James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

Much has been spoken about the ugly spat between James Anderson and Ravindra Jadeja during the 1st Test match at Trent Bridge. Apparently, Jadeja's bat had a secret mic, that recorded the entire conversation. Wondering how the bat had a mic? Well, it belongs to Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Not just a mic, it may also have weapons for all we know. Here's what really happened (and by really happened, we...
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Funny story: Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence. This sanctuary was known as a 'library' and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan. There entities known as "librarians" would covet and protect this preci...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 141

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