Funny story: Confessions of a Spam Filter

Confessions of a Spam Filter

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
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Ferguson Officer Unwittingly Admits His True Motive Behind Killing Unarmed Teen

In a Channel 5 investigative report with journalist Jim Rosenthal, the Ferguson Caucasian police officer, who allegedly shot an unarmed African American teen to death in August, unwittingly admitted his true motive behind shooting the teen. Rosenthal asked the officer the following question, "Is it possible that the suspect could not drop his gun simply because he did not have a gun?" to which...
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Fun facts about cremation

I'm thinking about getting cremated. Well, not today. I think I'll wait until I'm dead. But here's a little fun fact about cremation: You can have your ashes mailed to a loved one. I don't think so. My ashes would get lost in the mail and I would have to file a missing ash report. Hold on, Cousin Willie, I know what you're thinking. You would replace the letter h in the word ash with th...
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Funny story: Whatever Happened to Punky Brewster?

Whatever Happened to Punky Brewster?

Hoff here. I had a hard time deciding whether I should even bother with a subject like Television. In such cases, I just sleep on it. That usually helps. So I slept through a one-hour cop show, and two sitcoms, and decided to throw this out there. Television used to be like the friend who'd stop in for a visit every night from 7 to 10 for a chat. Sometime we'd talk about the news and sports. He...
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Funny story: History's Misquotes Come to Light

History's Misquotes Come to Light

Washington, DC In a history convention held in the nation's capitol, many facts came to light regarding some of history's most famous quotes. For instance, John Paul Jones did say "Don't Give up the Ship!" but he added the line, "Sell it Instead!" When Patrick Henry said "Give me liberty or give me death," history misplaced the part where he said, "On second thought, just give me liberty."...
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Shock Discovery by Dawkins, Pinker: It's All Socially Constructed

A group of prominent evolutionary scientists, once previously fiercely opposed to the po-mo pretensions of well-tenured intellectuals, have now been suitably chastened by a recent scandalous discovery. Yes… time, gravity and even cheesy Doritos are actually social constructed™ after all. Kein Scheisse Scherlock, it's the Absolute Truth! Genial and witty project leader Professor Richard...
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Funny story: Nopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican

Nopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican

It came out on Facebook this week, at the website Addicting Information, that a Republican, Rusty DePass, replied to a post made on Facebook in 2009 by someone named Trey Walker. Walker's post was, "Just heard there is a gorilla loose at Riverbanks Zoo. Staff and visitors hiding. Full lockdown. Wow." Rusty Depass, a GOP activist and former chairman of the state elections commission in South Ca...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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Funny story: Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist

Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist

It was dark and stormy when we entered the laboratory of Professor X. Centric. But you would never have known it upon entering the upbeat scientists place of work: clouds of incense greeted us in a room lit by black light. Authentic Day-Glo posters from the 1960s lit up the entryway as we came upon the professor administering Ebola virus antidote to himself. The professor, who had personally no...
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Funny story: Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

Take The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?

New Yorkers are made, not born. So no matter where you come from, you can make the greatest city in the world your hometown. Take this quiz to find out how close you are. And remember to pick up after your pooch. It's the law! 1. What was the real reason Michael Bloomberg banned Big Gulp drinks? A. His fear of drowning. B. Can't "hold it in" as well as he used to. C. Confused corn syru...
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Funny story: Book Review - How To Speak French: Learn French Phrases by Henri Lereau

Book Review - How To Speak French: Learn French Phrases by Henri Lereau

I have to say I am a little disappointed by this book. I spent 6 months studying the French language, going through this book meticulously, I read it chapter by chapter - probably 10 times. After 6 months my french was perfect - in fact I consider myself fluent in the language. It wasn't easy mind you; no - it was hard - but I thought it well worth the effort. Imagine then, to my horror, wh...
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Funny story: Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...
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Funny story: Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed

Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
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Funny story: Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Today the White House released a letter that arrived a few days ago, and after clearing a mysterious white powder from the envelope, the enclosed apparent letter from Bashar Assad was found: Dear Mostly Finks and Bastards, I want to send my heart felt (or maybe it was just gas) warmest thanks for helping us with I-SIS. Here to fore I thought you bastards didn't like me for some reason. Oh I...
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Funny story: Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries - The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence. This sanctuary was known as a 'library' and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan. There entities known as "librarians" would covet and protect this preci...
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Funny story: An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

Traveling on the road can be stressful. Sometimes too stressful. One doesn't need non-road situations to make them more stressful. Someone should mention this to Bill Gates. I am presently doing a road trip with limited amount of time to check out property. This is in a remote part of the country that consists of a lot of trees and hills and not much else. The towns that are here are Boonievill...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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