Satan Has Sex Change, Changes Name To "Hey Cortana"

Funny story: Satan Has Sex Change, Changes Name To "Hey Cortana"
After she checked out of McGillicutty Surgical Hospital in Dillonshire, England, Cortana met this reporter for an ale and to talk about her recent transformation. "Well, there's always been this, I guess--feminine part of me, you know I always wondered how things would have gone if I had been female, so after an eternity as a male I decided to see what life is like as a woman. And get the name...
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I Wire Tapped Trump Tower

Funny story: I Wire Tapped Trump Tower
Ok, I admit this in writing, anonymously, for now I fear for my life. I wire tapped Trump Tower. President Trump blames Obama, but I have never met President Obama and in all honesty, although it would make a great story, President Obama had nothing to do with it. Actually, it was Hillary Clinton, well not directly, but it was Hillary's team who directed the wiretap. I should be more clea...
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The 14,000-year-old Cave Etchings in Spain: Back to the Future?

Funny story: The 14,000-year-old Cave Etchings in Spain: Back to the Future?
Plenty of animals depicted in the etchings, of course. But that's not all. Analysis of the etchings provided some surprises. Here are a few of them: -- Renditions, at various stages of development, of the recently completed (FINALLY!) Second Avenue Subway in NYC. -- Flying thingies that resemble drones. -- An Amazon bookstore. -- A woman's pantsuit with the initials 'HC' on the collar...
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Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts

Funny story: Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts
Washington, DC President-Elect Donald Trump graciously offered "deep-pocket discounts" to all his new Cabinet members to take classes at his New Trump University in order to learn about their new Cabinet posts. "I found it very beneficial" said new Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke. "I learned a lot. Who knew the Interior Department would have anything to do with trees and things like that? I alway...
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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland

Funny story: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland
For the New Pussygrabber-in-Chief It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Ev'rywhere you go; Take a look at the store front doors, with swastikas now adorned And Alt-right sites and Nazis now aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Muslims now look out! 'Cause the scariest sight to see is the threatened registry By this orange-haired loudmouth lout. A pair of jack-boo...
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Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word

Funny story: Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word
Tis the season for tweason. Donald Trump, who has already changed the game in U.S. presidential politics, is now engaging in acts that lead to new words. Trump's latest tweets have coined the new word "tweason", which means the act by a U.S. public figure to disparage America and to embrace a foe by a tweet. Tweason has already become the most popular new word of 2017. Trump's recent...
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13 Things Never to Say in a Masonic Lodge

Funny story: 13 Things Never to Say in a Masonic Lodge
1. I'm signing nothing! 2. George Brown, George W. Bush and his dad as well as Henry Kissinger, Barack Obama and J.K. Rowling are all tools, all phonies. 3. Hiram Abiff is an idiotic myth and you should all grow up. 4. Your controllers of the 'upper degrees' are laughing their asses off at the gullibles clinging to the lower rungs. Right? 5. Money is not God. 6. Sex is of no real importance...
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A Letter To Charles Darwin

Funny story: A Letter To Charles Darwin
Dear Charlie. Or is it Charley? I read your book. Well, sort of. I had one of my people read it, and then summarize it for me, and I listened to that for all of 90 seconds, so I think I get what you were trying to say. But I gotta disagree with some of your conclusions. Well, one of them, anyway. You claim that evaluation makes people smarter, because the stupid ones die before they can...
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Breaking News...

Trump Claims He is Helping Elderly People by Cutting Meals on Wheels

"Ivanka read to me that America is too obese. So I want to help these people to eat less." he said.
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Funny story: Americans Admit They're Tired of Democracy

Americans Admit They're Tired of Democracy

It's just gotten old. All this negotiating of different positions, compromise, civil discourse, trying to find the common good is tiresome. We're done with it. Heck we stopped talking to our neighbors, coworkers and relatives we disagree with years ago. No one likes to be called names. And it seems harder and harder to find any truths or values we can agree on anymore. Better just to ha...
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Funny story: Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Suddenly fake news stories are the In thing and do we have 'em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze your friends! Harass your enemies! Embarrass your mom! We have them for you here in all shapes and sizes. And all political, ethnic, social and gender variations. Need a story to make Trump look like a hero- got 'em right here for ya! Need a tale...
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Funny story: Sessions hunts "Swamp Thing"

Sessions hunts "Swamp Thing"

Washington DC - Senator Sessions got out his guitar, got together with his boys in the garage to celebrate his confirmation with a brand new set of Lyrics for "Wild Thing", reproduced below. He and the boys cranked it up so loud the swamp things got all agitated like. Swamp thing, you make my pigeon sing You make everything a felony, swamp thing Swamp , I think I hate you But I wanna kno...
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Funny story: Fake the Nation: A User's Guide

Fake the Nation: A User's Guide

Brooklyn, New York - - Back in olden times, when schools were schools and teachers were respected, no one needed to explain the difference between so-called fake news and insightful satire. But these days, citizens are too busy tweaking their Facebook mugshots to make time for critical thinking. In fact, most can't distinguish the difference between con games and cosmetics. This mini guide...
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Funny story: Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway!

Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway!

Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway! Sure, everyone KNOWS what the "fake media" says about KellyAnne Elizabeth Conway, but how much do we REALLY know about her? This intrepid reporter decided to find out, and went slogging through public records, numerous internet news sites, and the back pages of the National Inquirer to scope out the true alternate facts about the mysteriou...
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Funny story: Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

(To be sung to the tune of The Christmas Song) Indictments waiting in an open file. Horse huggers basking in their grief. Federal probes snooping here, snooping there, Mean that de Blasio will get no relief. You see the mayor has tons of influence to spread. Plus he has to keep the homeless housed and fed. But unlike Bloomberg, who knew how to fly, this mayor seems to be afraid of the...
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Funny story: Estimates of What Will Happen to Scamatology After Davey Makemerich Makes His Exit

Estimates of What Will Happen to Scamatology After Davey Makemerich Makes His Exit

Cambridge, ENG Scholars as well as religious apologists are intensely watching the cult of Scamatology, which has been getting a flurry of attention in the media. "Many people can't help but notice that the cult is shrinking, even as it soaks his last remaining members for money to transform large buildings into Cult Castles. Then, after they dedicate the big building with a lot of people buse...
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Funny story: About Those Cigarettes In Your Shirt Pocket

About Those Cigarettes In Your Shirt Pocket

I always liked visiting the Super Bowl Pub in Wheaton, Maryland to check in with my fellow dregs to catch up on the local news, down copious beverages, talk bull and shoot some pool. Most of all we liked to talk to our good friend and owner, John, who when he saw us playing pool mumbled: "I wish you would play darts and hit someone in the back of the head rather than ruin my good pool tables".
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JP Johnston
JP Johnston
Joined: 12 June 2009
Stories Written: 30

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