Funny story: Ferguson Officer Unwittingly Admits His True Motive Behind Killing Unarmed Teen

Ferguson Officer Unwittingly Admits His True Motive Behind Killing Unarmed Teen

In a Channel 5 investigative report with journalist Jim Rosenthal, the Ferguson Caucasian police officer, who allegedly shot an unarmed African American teen to death in August, unwittingly admitted his true motive behind shooting the teen. Rosenthal asked the officer the following question, "Is it possible that the suspect could not drop his gun simply because he did not have a gun?" to which...
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Fun facts about cremation

I'm thinking about getting cremated. Well, not today. I think I'll wait until I'm dead. But here's a little fun fact about cremation: You can have your ashes mailed to a loved one. I don't think so. My ashes would get lost in the mail and I would have to file a missing ash report. Hold on, Cousin Willie, I know what you're thinking. You would replace the letter h in the word ash with th...
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Nopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican

It came out on Facebook this week, at the website Addicting Information, that a Republican, Rusty DePass, replied to a post made on Facebook in 2009 by someone named Trey Walker. Walker's post was, "Just heard there is a gorilla loose at Riverbanks Zoo. Staff and visitors hiding. Full lockdown. Wow." Rusty Depass, a GOP activist and former chairman of the state elections commission in South Ca...
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Funny story: Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist

Medical Marijuana Is Antidote to Ebola Virus Says Elated Scientist

It was dark and stormy when we entered the laboratory of Professor X. Centric. But you would never have known it upon entering the upbeat scientists place of work: clouds of incense greeted us in a room lit by black light. Authentic Day-Glo posters from the 1960s lit up the entryway as we came upon the professor administering Ebola virus antidote to himself. The professor, who had personally no...
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Funny story: 2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

The GOP platform that will be ratified by the 2016 Presidential Nominating Convention is now complete. Since the last convention, selected Congressional Republicans and State Party Chairs have been diligently working. According to insider reports, these are its major points: 1. We stand for the principles of torture, particularly rectal hydration. 2. We believe that rich donors should dramat...
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Ask Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: This new feature represents all that is bad about question and answer journalism. However, I feel there is a need to answer some questions from notables, such as those below, in order to satisfy the prurient interests of my readers. Dear Dr. Billingsgate, I read with interest your story about the woman who crazy glued her unfaithful husband's testicles to the bed frame to...
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CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

I'm so lucky to be a CAPTCHA program. Y'know one of those little thingies that won't let you operate on a website unless you prove that you're human. I absolutely LOVE my job. The irony of the situation tickles me. Love it, love it, love it -- that a human has to communicate with a machine in order to prove his or her humanity. LOL! Most of the time I do my gatekeeper job diligently. But eve...
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Funny story: What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...
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Breaking News...

Irritable General Colon Bowel Syndrome flare-up among Israel-Hezbollah might be over

Colonic Irrigation Regiment sent in to flush out anyone crapping on tentative piss talks
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Funny story: Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

The following is based on an actual conversation between two 10 year-old Irish kids on the problems posed by the difficult theory of reincarnation. Charles' dad is into Buddhism, Phil's parents are Catholics. They both attend the same school....a Catholic school. Phil: Why do we have to die? Charles: So's we can come back. Phil: Back here? What for? Charles: So that we can become gooder...
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Funny story: Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Overheard in a Staten Island Grand Jury Room

Almost New York - The judge in the Eric Gardner police brutality case put a lid on the release of evidence and souvenir transcripts used by the grand jury to reach its mystifying decision. Good thing we had our judicial fly on the wall to listen in on juror comments. Here are some of their choice remarks: "I'm glad I live on an island." "If he wanted to breathe, he should've brought alon...
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Funny story: "Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

"Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews

Ari Alterman has added yet another blockbuster movie to his long string of successes in a career spanning twenty-five years. "Well Connected" that has a strong magical theme has a sterling cast with Clint Eastwood taking a small role with Beyonce. It is produced by Ari Alterman, directed by Lilith Alterman and sees the acting debut of Judith Alterman. The script was written by son Zac under...
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Funny story: Experience pleasure

Experience pleasure

Everything that exists in the universe is a part of nature, and therefore can be explained by material causes. Consequently, it would be misinformation to resort to supernatural, spiritual or paranormal cause to explain natural phenomena. According to Wikipedia, euphoria is a 'medically recognized mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of well-being, elati...
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Funny story: An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

Traveling on the road can be stressful. Sometimes too stressful. One doesn't need non-road situations to make them more stressful. Someone should mention this to Bill Gates. I am presently doing a road trip with limited amount of time to check out property. This is in a remote part of the country that consists of a lot of trees and hills and not much else. The towns that are here are Boonievill...
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Funny story: At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

So! Back then I went out the comfort room window of that club in Mosul, moving on, as we like to say, and I thank all of you who tweeted me at that time on what to do! Of course I ended up where the action is across from Kobani, then was snatched by the Turks into Erdogan's tent. Yes, in case you're still wondering, this is Pepe Warezabar aka "Clarence Willnotlie." I know, I know. I have...
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Funny story: Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning. Life- The commitment you don't remember having agreed to. Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again. Life- A pain in the ass that doesn't limit itself to just that area. Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths. Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to reco...
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Funny story: Hillary addresses world domination convention in Las Vegas

Hillary addresses world domination convention in Las Vegas

Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton (aka HRC) addressed the annual WDC yesterday, blue eyes flashing. Her candidacy is just about wrapped up, she stated, in the sense of publicly announcing what everyone already knows. She will be running for president through 2024 and beyond if possible. If FDR could run more than twice, why not HRC? This line brought sustained, loud applause, and shouts of...
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Steddyeddy
Joined: 20 April 2008
Stories Written: 703

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