Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 11 September 2011

image for Beauty Pageant Tells Miss Colombia To Start Wearing Panties or She'll Get Disqualified
This is a photo of the $1.3 million tiara that the new Miss Universe will be wearing once she is crowned.

SAO PAULO, Brazil - The 2011 Pageant has already encountered its very first piece of controversy (no pun intended).

According to the pageant's president Pandora "Dimples" Slickpizzle, the contestant identified as Catalinita "La Bonita" Robayo and representing the country of Colombia has been photographed on several occasions and the photos clearly show that Miss Colombia is not wearing any panties.

One photo of her, which has been widely circulated all over the Internet, shows her wearing an orange dress and there is no doubt that the Colombian beauty was definitely going commando.

When a reporter for France's national news agency, Le News asked Miss Colombia about the fact that she was not wearing any underwear, she merely smiled and replied that people should be looking at her stunningly beautiful face and not down at her crotch area.

She went on to say that it is interesting that all during the time that she was on stage at the Miss Colombia Pageant that not even one person bothered to mention the fact that she was not wearing any calzones (panties).

Miss Colombia told Mrs. Slickpizzle that it is nothing but jealousy on the part of some of the other contestants who are not as astoundingly pretty, fabulously gorgeous, physically appealing, or sexually desirable as she is.

When Slickpizzle asked Miss Colombia to provide her with the names of the other contestants she was referring to as being jealous she said that she did not feel comfortable naming names but that she would instead reveal the countries they were representing; Indonesia, Hungary, and Kosovo.

Robayo pointed out to Le News reporter Gigi de Maupassant that she personally knows of three other contestants who also do not wear panties but since their pubic regions are completely shaved (unlike hers) everyone just assumes that one is wearing beige panties, one is wearing brown panties, and one is wearing black panties.

When the pageant's sponsor Donald Trump was contacted by Le News News Agency and asked to comment he replied that he had in fact seen several photos which he said did showcase Miss Colombia's groin area.

He smiled and remarked that it is his understanding that the Miss Colombia Beauty Pageant officials in Colombia are much more liberal in what they will allow to be shown or not shown than other beauty pageant organizations throughout the world.

The Trumpster then stated that in beauty pageants that he sponsors every contestant will have her woo-woo (muffin) covered up at all times.

He went on to say that failure to do so will result in the contestant getting her ass disqualified (sic).

Trump took a sip of his Brazil Nut Margarita and said that the rules-breaking contestant will have her pageant sash, pageant clothes, pageant shoes, pageant makeup, and pageant underwear confiscated and the offending young lady will be sent back home.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Donald Trump later met with all of the pageant participants and informed them all that if he sees anymore photos of any girl displaying her hoo ha (crotch cookie) that he will also file indecent charges against her and that she could possibly end up being arrested and then deported back to her country at her own expense.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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