Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Drugs, Amy Winehouse

Saturday, 10 September 2011

image for Propofol conspiracy theories debunked as 'harmless tranquiliser' found in Amy bloodstream
Some blood ...er tranquiliser! - was found in Amy Winehouse's system

London - The 1980s pharma best seller was once prescribed to rehab patients who claimed their addictions sprang from congenital marijuana deficiency.

This weekend a toxicology report has confirmed traces of the popular tranquilliser Librium were present in Amy Winehouse's bloodstream, discounting preposterous suspicions of Michael Jackson-esque anaesthetic abuse.

"Lots of junkies and alkies are prescribed Librium," Royal Freak Hospital emeritius professor of pharmacology Dr Einstein Flintstone commented, "shuts them up from raving on about their sordid withdrawal symptoms."

Is the drug highly addictive like heroin or nicotine?

"Hard to tell, you'll just have to wait for the conclusion of my personal 20-year research into the subject, should be ready by the end of the decade if the detox plan works as promised."

Meanwhile Winehouse relatives hoping for a cut of the RIP singer's alleged ten million quid will are reportedly dismayed at the plummeting value of her investment portfolio.

Latest estimates have suggested a net worth of around two million pounds, half of which is tied up in a Camden property.

A series of bar bill IOUs at the nearby Whorely Arms may cancel out any eventual probate hand-outs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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