Los Angeles, CA-- The dark visage of Darth Vader will appear on television screens, beginning in October. The Sith Lord is making a public service announcement (PSA), to warn people of the dangers of emphysema. The evil man wants to warn other potential Sith Lords, before it's too late.
Darth Vader developed emphysema after years of smoking marijuana. His previous self--Anakin Skywalker--used to spend many happy hours smoking weed with Obi-wan Kenobe and Yoda. Anakin Skywalker always thought that smoking weed would help him understand the Force. He found out too late that it would lead to an early death instead.
"Don't (wheeze, wheeze) smoke (wheeze, wheeze) anything. Unless (wheeze, wheeze) you want to end up (wheeze, wheeze) like me." states Darth Vader during the PSA. The sixty-second PSA then ends with a hacking cough and more wheezing. Darth Vader's face then turns to smoke and disappears.
Luke Skywaker produced the gloomy PSA, just before he killed his father.
"All that wheezing and coughing crap was driving me nuts!" he said.