Written by NerdInBriefs
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Topics: Madonna, scandal, Venice

Thursday, 8 September 2011

image for Madonna Signs Cover of Like a Virgin Album for Fan - Caught Saying She Loathes Her Old Face

Busy Madonna was caught out at the Venice Film festival when an Italian fan accessed the closed event and asked her to sign his copy of her iconic Like a Virgin album. In a faux pas for a celebrity who is normally so image conscious, Madonna was overheard minutes later in the rest room saying to her servant she loathed having to look at her old face from the early 80s. Her publicist has been busy defending Madonna outburst as well as the harsh treatment of her servant, as something she picked up from hanging out in the rough East End of London as Guy was so tight with his money.

Without realising that she was still mike'd up, Madonna had left the busy press conference for a quick restroom break, accompanied by her servant who was on hand to help administer her boss's specially commissioned toilet paper that contains inspirational quotes to remind Madonna how fabulous and creative she is.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, the normally calm and composed Madonna ranted whilst she boxed her servant in frustration, which was transmitted live in the main hall at Venice, echoing around the room as the shocked media couldn't believe what they were hearing as well as the sound of someone being hit.

"I've worked hard not to look like the Madonna of 1980s and some schmuck makes me have to look at my old face, ugh. Don't these people know that I can't stand looking at my ugly face from when I was starting out. It makes me want to puke, it looks so old and haggard, and my face was so full of wrinkles, it's so unnatural. It such an insult to all the hard work i have put in to exercise and look after myself." At this point she then asked her servant to take the punch bag position, as she let out her anger. Her servant said at least the fan didn't have a bouquet of hydrangeas to which Madonna vented, "What the hell are hydrangeas, do i look like a florist to you."

Her publicist says Madonna's words are being taken out of context and that they are being twisted to make her seem cruel, after the story went global within minutes. "Madonna's entitled to not like all her faces through her career and she didn't want her fans who prefer her newer looks to be hurt. She is very aware that many younger fans do not know Madonna was performing all those years ago, so it can be very confusing for them if she starts endorsing images from decades ago."

As for using her servant as punch bag Madonna's publicist said, "My client picked up her love of boxing from Guy Ricthe when they lived in the East End of London town to save money and live out their fantasises of being East End gangsters. It's ridiculous for Madonna to demand that a proper punch bag be brought to every event; so her servant is the next best thing."

Many media outlets have also seized on the fact that Madonna's insists on her own toilet paper. Friends in high places have rallied to her defence. Miley Cryrus blogged, "Living in the often lonely bubble of celebrity world, when there is so much pressure to always look fabulous for years, if not decades, like my dad Billy, it is easy to believe that you are no longer human so you need to surround yourself with motivational comments.

Justin Bieber also tweeted, he would hate if someone made him sign a picture of him when was a toddler so feels Madonna's pain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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