Written by queen mudder

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Wednesday, 7 September 2011

image for Saggy-bum old cougars sign up for BBC Strictly Come Dancing
Critics blame the freakshow formula on Ann Widdecombe in the last series

London - Edwina Currie, Nancy Dell'Olio, Lulu and Anita Dobson head the Beeb's geriatric hat trick-plus line-up starting this Saturday.

The ageing wannabes easily trump last season's torture that inflicted Ann Widdecombe on a hapless Brit audience too braindead for detox from the lethal Saturday night fix.

"Relax, that mutton-dressed-as-lamb formula worked wonders in the ratings," an ex-Light Entertainment division producer said today.

"And as a public service broadcaster the BBC is committed to promoting neglected minorities," the source continued, "such as the grossly obese.

"Hence astrologer Russel Grant's inclusion in this series."

Compered by heavily botoxed octogenarian Bruce Forsyth and permatanned past-it peroxide bombshell Tess Daly the show hopes to swell its viewing figures that saw 'an impressive' 14.28 million tune in for last year's Grand Finale.

Critics are adamant, however, that the new freakshow formula only serves to retain ballroom dancing's crusty, fuddy-duddy image.

"Heheh, there'll be hell to pay for if Nancy Dell-Olio is finally outed as a trans-sexual," a QM news sleuth added.

"Still, could have been a lot worse if that Cherie Blair had got in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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