LONDON - Seeking to capitalize on the success of their controversial docu-drama "The Taking of Prince Harry", the UK's Channel 4 is planning a sequel. In it Prince Charles visits Mexico on a benevolent mission, where he is abducted by a Mexican drug cartel.
The characters in the story are largely one-dimensional caricatures, with the Mexican abductors looking somewhat like a cross between Manuel Noreiga and Cheech & Chong. The plot quickly disintegrates into endless driveling political machinations in which when push comes to shove nobody really wants Charles back terribly badly. He eventually has to be rescued by a ragtag troupe of fading Russian mercenaries hired by ever-faithful Camilla Parker Bowles.
The one shining light in an otherwise drab performance is when Charles is seen with his abductors all sitting with their backs against the wall and their shirt sleeves rolled up, toking from a spliff the thickness of Charles' thumb. Charles is surrounded by empty pizza boxes and is giggling uncontrollably as he points at a hideous bulldog. "Muther!" he says, and collapses again into a fit of laughter. He does not look like he is terribly anxious to be rescued.
The docu-drama airs on September 16. Plot spoiler: The otherwise-poorly-equipped AK-47 toting Russians are expeditiously eliminated by the drug cartel, which is armed with attack helicopters and smart missiles and surrounded by a perimeter of land mines. Charles wins his freedom in a tense game of pinochle and is flown to Bermuda.