Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 6 September 2011

image for Cheryl Cole Will Be Watching Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough When Dancing With The Stars Premiers
Len Goodman (in sailor uniform) shown with family members in London at the end of World War II.

HOLLYWOOD - Season 13 of Dancing With The Stars will have it's season premier on September 19.

The show which is one of the top ranked in the nation will return with Co-Hosts Tom "Jumpy" Bergeron and Brooke "Skinny Legs" Burke who says she wants to now be known as Brooke Burke-Charvet since that is now her married name after finally marrying her live-in boyfriend David "Cold Feet" Charvet and having had two kids.

The judges include Carrie Ann "Miss Philippines" Inaba, Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli, and Len "The Grisly Grouch" Goodman.

Goodman pointed out to Sangria Wine with TV ClickerWorld that contrary to what that supermarket tabloid Just Saying printed he is not 97.

Len added that he's 93, but sometimes he does feel like he's 97, like when Bruno starts waving his hands, hips, and hair all over the place and acting like he's one of those two-dozen member group dance teams on America's Got Talent.

Returning to the show after a one year absence is Derek Hough. Derek who was nicknamed "The Dancing Dude" by fellow professional dancer Maksim "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Chmerkovskiy will be partnered with talk show host Ricki Lake.

Ms. Lake said that she was hoping to get Derek as her partner because she was afraid that if she had gotten Maksim that she may have ended up possibly hitting him in the knees with a Louisville Slugger baseball bat if he had mouthed off to her the way he has to some of his past partners.

Miss Wine added that she spoke with Derek and that he confided in her that his ex-girlfriend Cheryl Cole called him from England and told him that she will definitely be watching the show.

Chezza, as she is known, is reportedly still devastated at having been fired from Simon Cowell's new show X-Factor. Cole apparently went back to Britain and was consoled by her ex-husband, Ashley "The Wandering Wiener" Cole, a soccer player for Chelsea.

The shows producer Bernadette Penderlicki has said that she has implemented several changes and one is that this year the paddle numbers font will be Franklin Gothic as opposed to last year's Arial.

Another change that Ms. Penderlicki is making is that the English judge Len Goodman has been asked to refrain from using the word 'bum' which is the British term for 'butt' and instead use the more recognizable American term 'butt.'

Also in the interest of not using so many stereotypical gay sounding words Bruno Tonioli has been asked not to use gay words like fluffy, tar tar, skipping, yoo hoo, lisping, and powder puff.

Cheryl Cole was asked by Sangria Wine what she misses the most about no longer being with Derek Hough. She mentioned three things. The first two cannot be published in a family oriented publication but the third thing was the $7,000 Margarita making machine that Derek had imported from Yucatan, Mexico.

A TV ClickerWorld Tidbit: Back on September 7, 1661, 340 years ago, sardines were first discovered frolicking off the coast of Samoa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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