Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 September 2011

image for America's Got Talent Finalist Lys Agnes Says Charlie Sheen Keeps Inviting Her To Attend A Los Angeles Dodgers Game With Him
America's Got Talent finalist Lys Agnes has a great singing voice and legs to match. (Photo courtesy of Howie Mandel).

HOLLYWOOD - One of the sexiest looking singers to ever grace the America's Got Talent stage Lys Agnes has informed the shows host Nick "The Pencil" Cannon about a rather uncomfortable situation.

The El Lay Informer's Pia Confetti verified that the Denver beauty told Cannon that she wants him to talk to Charlie Sheen and tell him to stop insisting that she attend a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball game with him.

Lys [pronounced: LEES] said that she has told Mr. Sheen that she is not the least bit interested in attending a baseball game since she is allergic to popcorn and Cracker Jacks.

Miss Agnes showed Nick 27 emails from the "Space Cadet" including three which actually suggested that Lys consider becoming his new "Goddess."

Cannon asked her if she had ever met Mr. Sheen. The tall songstress said that the only celebrities she has ever met are him (Nick), Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandel. Nick grinned and told her that she has also met Piers Morgan.

The very attractive singer smiled and whispered to Cannon that she does not consider Piers Morgan to be a celebrity and that she looks upon him more as a type of media reporter noted throughout for his rather dry, snobbish nature.

"Well dats Piers alright." Cannon remarked. He then grinned and said that Morgan has criticized The Smurfs, The Muppets, Michele Bachmann, Beep Beep The Roadrunner, and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Nick asked Lys if there was some guy that she would like to go out on a date with. She blushed and replied that there was one tall, dark, and handsome man, but that he's married to a fantastic singer and is the proud father of twins.

Cannon blushed and said "Ah shucks Lys." Lys giggled as she told him that she was not referring to him and that she was talking about the husband of Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony.

In other news. Jesse "Messy" James has said that his girlfriend Kat Von D has just about run out of tattoo space. He divulged that she is planning on getting her next tattoo on the bottom of her right foot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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