Written by IainB
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Friday, 2 September 2011

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Ian Anderson's next single will be called "I'm wearing a blue shirt and it hurts"

The music world is bracing itself for a flurry of albums and singles from the rock band that refuses to die, Jethro Tull.

Lead singer, lead guitar, flute player and one of only two original band members, Ian Anderson, has announced that he plans on releasing ten albums a year for the next ten years as he feels he may not have many playing years left in him.

"I read somewhere," he said, scribbling down some more lyrics, "that Tull sold sixty million albums world wide. It's not enough. There's six and a half billion people on the planet. This means it's still more likely that you'll meet somebody without one of my albums than you will somebody with one."

Jethro Tull have announced that is there intention to be the first band to sell one billion albums.

"This means we've got to produce more albums," said Anderson. "Lots more. I'm nearly seventy, so I've not got many years left in me. I reckon we can do ten a year. We only need to sell another nine hundred and thirty million seven thousand four hundred and six albums."

Anderson believes that he is in his richest vein of form since Jethro Tull's heyday in 1974, the second week of July, when he penned a hundred and four songs in one night.

"The muse is with me, man," he said, scribbling more notes down. "Ten albums a year? At this rate it will be twenty. How does 'Yesterday the Postman Was Late' sound as a song title? Want to buy an album. Or ninety?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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