NEW YORK CITY - Madonna is 53-years-old but she apparently does not read birth certificates as she has fallen swelled-head-over calloused heels in love with Brahim Zaibat, a French dancer who is all of 24.
Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors commented that the former singer known as Madonna has bras that are older than Brat as she affectionately refers to Brahim.
Madonna informed Rangoon that she wanted to dispel the rumor that she had met her boy toy in the playground section of a Brooklyn McDonald's.
The May-December couple recently celebrated Madonna's 53rd birthday with a carnival-type birthday party in the Hamptons that included a Sponge Bob Square Pants Moon Jump, Shetland pony rides, and a female stripper jumping out of a big cardboard bottle of Geritol.
Madonna confided to Rangoon that Brat has given her extremely intimate womanly feelings that she has never experienced before. Rangoon was shocked to hear that and she remarked that it was hard to believe considering Madonna's past history.
"And just what da effen hell do ya mean wiff dat remark Chow girl?" A highly incensed Madonna asked Rangoon.
"Hey you matronly material bitch," Rangoon yelled out "Don't ya go getting all Joan Rivers on me you skanky, gap-toothed museum relic."
Madonna turned redder than Rihanna's fire engine red hair. She got in Rangoon's face and told her that the only reason why she is a reporter is because she can't dance or sing.
Rangoon did not miss a beat and replied, "Well then I guess that makes two of us who can't sing or dance huh Countess Cellulite?"
And with that Madonna Louise Ciccone, the woman who sang "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" started crying and dashed toward the house with her boy toy following on her heels and so close behind her that if she had stopped suddenly he would have become a human suppository.
September is National Pink Flamingo Month except in Mississippi where pink flamingos were banned back on Monday, September 13, 1971.