Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 September 2011

image for Jennifer Lopez Admits Knowing Nothing About An Alleged Affair Between Marc Anthony and Jada Pinkett-Smith
Jennifer Lopez relaxing in her hotel room after visiting The Giggling Gator Amusement Theme Park.

LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - Jennifer Lopez was in the Bayou State where she had brought her three and a half year-old twins, Max and Emme to visit The Giggling Gator Amusement Theme Park located in Lake Charles.

The park's director Beauregard Thibodeaux LaTruffles personally had his daughters Charleen, 18, and Lafayette, 19, each act as a guide for the Lopez twins.

The recently divorced LaTruffles acted as Jennifer's personal amusement park tour guide. He asked Jennifer if she was adjusting to the fact that she will soon be a divorced woman and out on the market as they say out in California.

J.Lo ignored the question by saying that she was thrilled that none of the kids had gotten bit by the notorious Louisiana mosquitoes.

Mr. LaTruffles informed Lopez that he would be waving the amusement park rides height restriction for her kids since he is a big fan of hers and has every CD that she has recorded.

He also let her know that he has seen all of her movies including his favorite Selena seven times.

Max and Emme's first ride was The Bayou Boom Boom which is a ride that drops from a height of about 20 stories in about 4.3 seconds.

Both really enjoyed it and Jennifer told LaTruffles that she was surprised that Emme did not throw up since she has been known to do by simply falling off of a skateboard.

Charleen and Lafayette then helped the twins each get on one of the Rajun Cajun Air Boats which can get going so fast that they can literally come off of the swamp water by about a foot and a half.

Max loved it. Emme not so much as evidenced by the fact that she peed in her Dora The Explorer pants but luckily her mommy always carries two extra sets of clothes.

As LaTruffles handed Jennifer a Corona Light Beer he asked her about the rumors which had appeared in The Cucamonga Chit-Chat Chronicle of an alleged affair between Jada Pinkett-Smith and her still-husband Marc Anthony.

Lopez ignored his question and asked him if he had ever been bitten by one of the thousands of Louisiana swamp alligators. LaTruffles smiled and nodded that he hadn't.

The twins and their guides next got on what is known in the amusement park world as The Grandmother of All Roller Coaster Rides, The Thundering Tornado Typhoon.

The "Dammit Y'all Coaster," as it is known throughout the South attains unbelievable speeds of of up to 285 miles per hour. Lopez at first hesitated to let her two kids go on the ride, but LaTruffles assured her that the ride was perfectly safe but added that if it would relax her he would personally instruct the roller coaster operator not to go over 255 miles per hour.

Jennifer shook her head and told him that it was fine. She giggled as she said that it would not be fair to the other riders if the ride did not hit its top speed of 285 miles per hour.

As J.Lo watched Max and Emme get strapped in LaTruffles again asked her if Marc and Jada had been involved in some mattress belly-bumping.

Jennifer got a look of disgust on her face. She told him that she knows nothing about an alleged affair between her husband and Will Smith's wife.

J.Lo shook her head and told him that she would give him a big French kiss if he promised to stop asking her personal questions about Marc and Jada.

LaTruffles nodded his head in the affirmative. He then closed his eyes and opened his mouth.

In a non-related story. Sarah Palin has apologized to black GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain for daughter Piper, 9, going up to him and asking "Hey bro, just exactly who da hell do you think is gonna be voting for you?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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