Written by NerdInBriefs
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Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Sex and the City producers have confirmed a prequel, a cause for celebration and a bonaza for cosmetic surgeons suffering from the recession.

Women around the world will have another chance to indulge in doses of fashion porn from the glamorous streets of Manhattan and see fashionistas slurping dirty martinis in a suggestive manner. However can they except 60somethings playing teens.

However this has created a panic for the original four actresses who have called in the services of Cher to help them win the parts that their agents and their industry feel they may be too old to pull off.

Things have become tense as the actresses have threatened to take their battle to Judge Judy.

The prequels will be based on Candace Bushnell's two recent tweets, 'The Carrie Diaries' and 'Summer and the City', and the producers were planning to hold castings only for actresses that grew up on Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana rather than Bob Dylan and the Greatful Dead.

Fearing action from the Screen Actors Guild over ageism, the producers of SATC have been forced to allow the original four to audition for roles. Perhaps hoping that this process would put them off, to even their agent's surprise, they have confirmed that they are flying the flag for older women and will go to any surgical lengths to make the producers cast them.

Hollywood is notoriously ageist but equally older actress are extremely territorial about what letting go of projects that they worked hard on, or losing out to younger competition. However producers had hoped that after the last SATC movie the four would quit acting and moved into advertising brands and services for the older woman.

The four have called on the help of an expert in this field to mastermind them winning the contracts and presented their plea to Cher. She has felt sympathetic and agreed to project manage the work that needs doing, someone who since taking up selling surgery on a stand on Rodeo Drive in the 70s has now built up business that has transformed the lives of millions of women.

Sarah Jessica Parker has had it written in her contract that she has final approval of the face and features that Kim Catrral picks, underlying the distrust and competitiveness between the two. Horse breeders are being approached according to gossip sites as part of Parker's preference to keep the results true to her original look.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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