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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Beyonce Stops After 3 Months of Non-Stop Dancing to Have Pregnancy Test on MTV VMA's

Global superstar Beyonce was finally able to stop dancing for 30 seconds to accept a quick pregnancy test on the stage of MTV's VMA's. Jay Z her rapster husband has been desperate to confirm whether she is pregnant, having not able to get his wife to sit still nor have a conversation, let alone a test, as his wife hasn't stopped dancing since the release of her new album and her performance at Glastonbury in the UK in June. Beyonce has been diagnosed with Dancing Diva Disorder a rare condition which affects 1 in 1000 divas which has accelerated this year.

Earlier at the event, Beyonce admitted as she danced her way along the red carpet, that she has eaten too many burgers pointing at her curvy bump, as she slurped the remaining of her milkshake and fries.

Beyonce's husband ran behind her trying to keep up saying to the cameras' "I have 99 problems and Beyonce is one." He looked tired and worn out as sleeping with someone who dances throughout the night takes its toll.

Michael Flattery, the Irish-American, who suffers from a similar condition, realised he could make millions from his condition, creating a vehicle called Riverdance that would help him hide his condition. Sadly now he has resorted to bolting his legs to the floor of his home as his heart can't keep up with his condition. Every now and then his legs manage to break free, leading to extensive damage to his home and a huge repair bill.

Jay Z hatched a plan with a doctor to get her to finally stop dancing on the stage of the awards. One of the producers mentioned the career of Kelly Rowland, Beyonce's former Destiny Child's prisoner who was released from the band after she had completed her time as dictated by the courts. Fearing that Rowland was in the audience and going to take away the limelight from her, Beyonce stopped and froze on stage.

At this point the female doctors quickly administered a pregnancy test behind a small screen, which was disguised as a wardrobe change.

"It's a hard knock life," said Jay Z when it was confirmed that he was dad but doctors are looking at ways for Beyonce to stop dancing as the pregnancy advances. People asking how Jay Z managed to get Beyonce pregnant when she has been constantly on the move.

Doctors are studying the records of artists who have suffered in the past including Usher, Fred Astaire, Tina Turner, Michael Jackson and most famously Madonna. Jay Z is trying to find out from the grandma of pop how she managed to have two children whilst not able to keep still. It is believed yoga has been of big help as well as younger boyfriends and brancing out into films and starting up charitable projects.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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