Written by jd Balderdash
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Psychic, Guitar

Tuesday, 27 December 2005

image for Great White torches another Night Club

Psychic Friends Network's singing psychic Dionne Warwick hooked up Great White's departed guitar player Ty Longley with his fellow "above ground" band members after Detroit's "Night Rave" night club burned completely to the ground Thursday night during Great White's latest blazing performance. Warwick released portions of the Ouija board transcript ..

TY -> Dudes. Long time.

GREAT WHITE -> Where're you AT dude? How come you didn't run like the rest of us when that Rhode Island gig went up in flames?

TY -> Dudes. I thought it was just Gator mess'n with us .. just throw'n in some KICK *** pyrotechnics is all dudes.

GREAT WHITE -> You got the "killer" part right Ty. The FIRE alarms should have been a tip-off dude. Hope all's well up there .. or DOWN there .. Mz Warwick and the Ouija board can't quite get a GPS on you yet.

Detroit police say there were no fatalities from the Thursday night fire at the club formerly known as Nite Rave and only 2 minor smoke inhalation injuries. Dionne Warwick relayed this information to Ty Longley during their Ouija board seance, Ty going,

TY -> Darn. Dudes. No fatalities?

GREAT WHITE -> No Ty but there WAS 42 million dollars worth of damage. We burned town 12 square city blocks!!

TY -> All right DUDES!!

Great White, still booked by many Night clubs in the U.S. is, after Thursday's latest blaze a bit uncertain about it's future, guitarist Mark Kendall telling reporters,

"We don't want to burn down night clubs we don't. We don't want to endanger our fans with pyrotechnics but .. It's just that .. how ELSE are you going to get that 50 FOOT WALL OF FLAMES flying above the crowd RIGHT when you hit, when you HIT that that .. that .. freak'n SCREAM'n G major H minor inverted double transposed 5 string DADF#AD chord JUST RIGHT then goin !!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Detroit's fire Marshal Hal O'Brien says that yes, once again, Great White violated no city ordinances by setting off over 800 pounds of highly flammable explosive pyrothechics inside an already highly flammable cinder block night club on the East side of town.

"They're free to go. Thankfully we had no fatalities although we did lose 32nd street. And .. 33rd .. and .."

Dionne Warwick, currently on tour with Burt Bacharah performing their golden hits from the Flintstone's era, the Dino tribute says that Great White's guitar player Ty Longley does indeed appear to be happy .. where-ever the blazes he is. Speaking with Detroit's WDRL reporter Jennifer Dawson Warwick said,

"I'm just glad my Ouija board and I could one last time connect TY with his band, his friends for a moment in time. By the way, have you signed up for the Psychic Friend's Network? If you haven't they've got a special going on until January where if you buy 5 memberships .."

Make jd Balderdash's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

1 18 20 21
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top