Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Jordan

Saturday, 27 August 2011

image for Jordan paid more not to release her planned album
Dag nam it, and there was I, looking forward to playing on her album

The nation's favourite former wife of Peter Andre, Jordan is said to be in talks about her new album.

The planned release, which will feature Ms Price singing the songs of Jedward, Rod, Jane and Freddy, Shania Twain, and Megadeth in a way that is the aural equivalent of fingernails down a blackboard will hopefully be in shops for Christmas, but the planned musical smorgasbord has hit a snag, with the popular talent vacuum being offered more money not to release the monstrosity on an unsuspecting public.

Peter Moneytowaste from the Clashing colours record company told us: 'We offered Jordan, sorry Katie Price a lot of money to work on this album, when she said that she was offered twice as much money not to spend any time in a recording studio. We were really looking forward to getting her in the studio, and experimenting with her vocal cords on Autotune and everything, but it may not happen. We offered her £50.00 to record with us, but Simon Cowell offered her £100 not to bother, so she went for his offer instead. She may not be popular, but she knows how to make a lot of money without really trying'.

Mr Moneytowaste is said to be thinking of a similar trick with Jedward. 'With them it does not even have to be money. I am thinking that some magic beans and some shiny milk bottle tops would be enough for them'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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