LA BREA - Kathy Griffin the star of My Life on The D List recently had an appointment with her gynecologist Dr. Duffy F. Elderfunk.
Dr. Elderfunk has an office located two blocks from the famed La Brea Tar Pits.
Griffin had gone in to get a copy of some vaginal X-rays that she'd had taken earlier this year when she was being treated for a ferret bite that she had sustained to her red snapper (furburger).
As the ex-cougar girlfriend of Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law Levi Johnston was leaving Dr. Elderfunk's office she was approached by one of the feistiest reporters on the Left Coast, Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors.
Rangoon asked Griffin about her on going feud with American Idol Host Ryan Seacrest.
Griffin paused dead in her tracks, gave Rangoon one of her patented crazy redhead stares, and asked, "Ling Ling is it?"
"No ma'am, it's Ling Chow."
"Okay, right. Ling Ling let me say that first of all you just don't come up to a famed celebrity like me and fire off a question.
Secondly you did not even identify yourself properly. And thirdly, who the hell combed your hair? Piper Palin?"
Ling Chow rolled her eyes and responded by telling Griffin that she cannot believe that she is just as butt ugly in person as she is on television.
She then remarked that she now knows that the "D" in the title My Life on The D List stands for "Dick!"
Griffin was livid. She told Rangoon that she was going to report her to the makers of Rice-A-Roni. Ling Chow told her to go ahead because she was going to report her to the makers of Preparation H.
Rangoon then asked Griffin if she was ever going to see about getting her right tit fixed so that it matched her left one.
She then asked her if it was true that she is such a tight wad that she sews her own tampons.
Ling Chow then told Kathy that her ex-boyfriend Levi Johnston had personally told her that the reason he broke up with (Griffin) was because when he was putting it to her Grand Canyon that it would make some weird, funky noises that could even scare the hell out of pit bulls.
Kathy started huffing and puffing. She was absolutely furious. Ling Chow looked at her and asked, "So tell me bitch, you got anything to say or are you saving your hardcore mean shit for the likes of Kate Gosselin, Renee Zellwegger, Sharon Stone, and a few other females who are really no match for the likes of a transgendered-looking, scarecrow, skank like you?"
Griffin was so mad she literally could not speak. She looked at her watch. And she wrote Rangoon a note. It said that she had to go because she was late for a dental appointment.
As Kathy walked away Ling Chow hollered out "Hey freckled yeast mill while you're at the dentist's office see if he can give you something to take that crow taste out of your mouth."
In a non-related story. Ann Coulter is denying the rumor that she has decided to move to North Korea.