Written by jd Balderdash
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Thursday, 22 December 2005

image for "Married With Children" the Movie wrapping up Production
Rated "O" for O My Living GOD!!!

(E-ONLINE) Christina Applegate, star of Sony's "Married with Children Reloaded" directed by Quentin Tarantino talked about her role as FBI agent Kelly Bundy saying, "This movie is a total departure from the original TV series" Applegate said, warning, "It will shock the sock puppets right off of people's hands. Their very minds will illiterally wobble. "

"Wobble they will" Tarantino added saying,

"We wondered what would happen if we took the most ridiculous, ludicrous excuse for a tv show ever conceived without the aid of Cannabis and flipped it flat 360 on it's ears .. turned it into the grittiest, bloodiest non-stop action thriller ever made making Pulp Fiction even seem like a Tom Hanks Meg Ryan Lovey Dovey Cuddly little G for "grrr" rated Pooh Bear meets Mr Rogers on Quaaludes Gummy Bear Papa Smurf mis-adventure. The results are truly astounding. Even I'm scared of it and I DIRECTED the darned thing."

In the new movie, Kelly's dad, Al, Ed O'Neil and brother Bud, David Faustino are now 12 years later part of a deadly Colombian drug cartel and Kelly has been commissioned by the FBI to capture her father and brother, bring them to justice. Alive.

"Tough choices she has to make" Tarantino told E-Online saying,

"Her mother Peg, played by Katy Segal is torn between living the unwanted but glamorous life of a crime syndicate boss's wife or working secretly with her daughter Kelly to safely bring her husband and son to justice. Alive."

"It's kind of like Kill Bill in Sin City pumped up on Barry Bonds steroids by a factor of 10 if you catch my drift" Ed O'Neil told reporters during a break from the shoot.

David Faustino, Bud gave his perspective telling reporters,

"Kind of freaky this whole project. BEFORE the opening credits start even they have me blowing a drug smuggling helicopter right out of the sky with a portable missile launcher then finishing every one left alive off with the copter's rotor blade before stealing their cocaine to take back to Dad. That's all before the opening credits."

Katy Segal also chimed in with the warnings saying,

"The first time Bud slashes the head off of a rival Colombian drug lord and it rolls into an empty tomato bin or Al orders an entire Colombian village blown to bits Tarantino style you soon come to accept that fact that no you're NOT in Bundy-ville anymore Toto."

Tarantino went into detail telling E-Online reporters,

"There's not a DROP of funny in this one folks. The only humor occurred behind the scenes during filming when the cast would instinctively slip back into their former TV Bundy roles. David (Bud) for example might call Christina (Kelly) a 2 bit street slut who'll do it for a BIT if not less and Christina coming right back with "Well at least BUD .. did your blowup doll tell you to say that or did she dump you too?'

"Totally hilarious stuff they kept coming up with off camera. One time", Tarantino said,

"One time during filming in Sicily Ed O'Neil was walking by the set when Christina and David were playfully going at it like cats and dogs and Ed, slipping back into his old AL persona yelled

"KIDS? Don't make me send you both back to the orphanage!"

Tarantino ended the interview with

"I laughed something off that day. The out-takes alone are going to make one heck of a DVD. Add in Bono and Usher's rock'n sound tracks? This flick's going right over the edge then RIGHT back up the other edge all guns blazing."

"Married with Children Reloaded".
Sex, drugs, rock, roll .. Kelly and Bud? Al and Peg?
Like Prego, It's IN there.
The mind will illerately .. wobble

Make jd Balderdash's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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