Written by Lyndon
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Thursday, 25 August 2011

image for Sting wins Most Tender Lyrics Award
Sting belts out "...maybe three weeks to live."

HAMPSTEAD, London--In what is seen as a lifetime achievement award, rock musician Sting received this week the prestigious Most Tender Lyrics Award at the U.K. Rock Music Awards.

Jury members lauded Sting, known for his earlier work with the highly successful band The Police as well as a much longer solo career, as a writer of songs to which one could listen whilst holding a loved one whilst turning slowly on a dance floor.

Highlighted lyrics included a line from "Can't Stand Losing You" which appeared on The Police's first album, Outlandos D'Amour (1978):

But you'll be sorry when I'm dead
And all this guilt will be on your head
I guess you'd call it suicide
But I'm too full to swallow my pride

The Police's third album, Ghost in the Machine (1981), contained the gentle ballad "Rehumanize Yourself":

Billy's joined the National Front
He always was (just) a little runt
He's got his hand in the air
with the other cu---
You've got to humanize yourself

Sting then performed from his 1991 album The Soul Cages a song which millions of young people played on their tape players while drifting off to sleep, dreaming of their loved one: "Island of Souls". One of many tender lines:

Then what they called an industrial accident
Crushed those it couldn't forgive
They brought Billy's father back home in an ambulance
A brass watch, a cheque, maybe three weeks to live

Sting graciously accepted the award, voicing thanks, then quipped, "Thanks, everyone, for not making fun of me for being such a softy."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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