POMONA - Will Smith was sitting at a Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner in Pomona reading a copy of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle when he was approached by a reporter.
Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors asked Smith if she could speak with him for a few minutes. Smith replied that he was busy eating his Number 3 Deluxe Cluck Cluck Entrée and that he would talk to her after he was finished.
Rangoon said she would wait in a corner booth for him. A few minutes later Smith approached the iRumors reporter. Rangoon told him that she knew he was busy so she would just cut to the chase.
She asked Smith if he was divorcing his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith because of her involvement with one of the co-stars of her television show HawthoRNe (sic).
Smith smiled and asked Rangoon what she had heard. She was somewhat taken a back by the question but she said that she had heard from a very reliable inside source who did not want her name mentioned that the talk on the set was that Jada and one of her co-stars, Marc Anthony, who just happens to be Jennifer Lopez's soon-to-be-ex-husband, were allegedly seen engaging in what some referred to as a bit of lap bogeying.
Will asked if the inside source was Suleka "Countess Curry" Mathew. Rangoon replied that it wasn't. He then asked if it was Hannah "The Mouth" Hudson and again Rangoon answered that it was not.
Smith paused for a second. He took a sip of his Diet Pepsi and asked if it was Christina "The Scary Stare" Moore? No came the reply once again.
"Vanessa 'The Loose Lips" Lengies?" Smith asked.
Rangoon told him that it was not her either and that it really did not matter a flying flick who the hell had said it because the fact of the matter was that apparently Jada is not the happy little camper that (Smith) thinks she is.
Smith told Rangoon that she reminded him of that political bitch Ann Coulter except that Coulter is taller, skinnier, and not as much of a jerk.
Rangoon told him that maybe if part of him had been as big as his friggin ego that they may not be sitting at a Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner in Pomona having this conversation.
And with that Will stood up and told her that he had heard that she had the worst attitude of any reporter in the business but that he did not know that she was also into women.
Rangoon grinned, took a sip of her A&W Root Beer and replied, "And that Mr. Smith is one area where you and I are alike - it appears that neither one of us is into women."
"You slut!" Smith yelled out furiously as he stood up to leave, "I am not divorcing my wife!"
"I'll be sure and tell Marc that you said hello, you spoiled brat crybaby."
And speaking of spoiled brats. Michele Bachmann says that she will be kicking Sarah Palin's hunting ass because the women of America would rather see a fellow woman in the kitchen cooking a piece of meat that she bought at the grocery store instead of a piece of meat that she stalked and slaughtered from a damn state-owned helicopter.