Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

image for The Reason Why Maria Bello's Boss In The New Detective Show 'Prime Suspect' Better Transfer Her Fast!
Detective Jane Timoney's home away from home.

HOLLYWOOD - A show that has been getting a lot of publicity; too much perhaps is a new show called Prime Suspect. The police show stars Maria Bello as New York City Detective Jane Timoney.

And from the looks of the dozens and dozens of network promos Timoney sure does get the heck beat out of her a lot. So far in the seemingly endless barrage of promo ads she has received scratches on her face, bruises on her neck, a knife cut on her leg, plus a myriad of assorted bumps, abrasions, contusions, scrapes, lacerations, and gashes all over unseen parts of her body.

If ever there was someone who has no business being a detective it is certainly Jane Timoney. Perhaps her boss, in the interest of not having to give her a medical discharge, needs to transfer her to a much more safer department such as the meter maid division as soon as possible.

In this day and age of ever rising health care costs, it is very obvious that Detective Timoney is just one of those individuals who are prone to injuries. And she could end up costing the taxpayers of New York City a ton of money in medical expenses.

Another thing that Timoney needs to think about is that someday she will meet a guy and fall madly in love with him and want to marry him but he may just end up rejecting her simply because she has more visible scars than a WWF wrestler.

Oh and one last thing...that fedora hat. Hmmm. Kojak star Telly Savalas looked good in a hat. Roy Rogers looked good in a hat. And even President Abraham Lincoln looked good in a hat. But Detective Jane Timoney? No. That silly looking fedora hat on her makes her look more like she's the dominant partner in a lesbionic relationship.

A friendly reminder. August 26 is National Toilet Paper Day...no sh*t!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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