Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 22 August 2011

image for Steven Tyler Says That Kate Gosselin Is The 'Complete Package'
Kate Gosselin wearing a black Aerosmith tank top. (Photo taken by Steven "Lips" Tyler).

AVOCADO HEIGHTS - American Idol Judge Steven Tyler and Kate Gosselin of the newly cancelled Kate Plus 8 were seen having a #3 deluxe fried chicken dinner at The Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner.

Tyler was dressed in his customary loud colored sable pants, flowery multi-colored silk shirt, and a compliment of three long-flowing scarfs.

Gosselin was dressed in a black Aerosmith tank top and a pair of very tight Daisy Duke short shorts that truly accentuated her perfectly structured, long, svelte legs.

The two could be heard giggling and carrying on about how silly Michele Bachmann looks in her 1950s June Cleaver hairdo. Tyler also noted that Mrs. Bachmann has about as much sex appeal as a mud puddle.

Kate laughed so hard a piece of chicken wing flew out of her mouth and hit Steven on his right nostril. He took the piece of chicken wing and tossed it back at Kate who took it and discreetly put it in her purse to avoid making a bigger scene than the two had already made.

Tyler smiled. "You see that's why I like you so much Kate?" He said as he took her hand and kissed it profusely. He then reached across the table, and gave her a great big long lingering French kiss.

After the two finally separated in the interest of getting some air, Steven whispered "Kate Gosselin - you hon are the complete package!"

After gaining her composure Kate took Tyler's hand and with tears in her eyes said that she has fallen head-over-heels in love with him because he treats her like a lady and not like some skanky, fake blond, bitch, ho like her ex-husband Jon "Mr. 3 Inches" Gosselin used to do.

Kate recently remarked to Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle that even when she is not around Steven all she has to do is to simply think about him and she gets this funny little tingling sensation down in the crotch area of her groin region that proves to her that she still wants to put her playpen (lap donut) to some good use.

Steven "Lips" Tyler is 63. Kate "The Great" Gosselin is 36. And Kumquatina "Dimples" Blitzowitz is 99.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

7 11 16 5

Go to top