Written by jd Balderdash
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Sunday, 25 December 2005

image for Bank Repo's Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch

Normally a bank FORECLOSES on a property but in the case of Neverland Ranch the bank is REPOSSESSING the property, brick by brick.

"Jackson owes us big time" said one Chase executive explaining, "We sent him notices, made a few calls even. Now we're repo'ing."

Neverland Ranch, 187 acres of ferris wheels, choo choo trains and baby llamas was Micheal Jackson's dream. "Was" being the operative word here with Chase Bank now hauling it all off brick by brick. When asked what they were going to do with the bricks Chase said,

"Trash them. The amusement park stuff we'll sell. Along with the choo choo train and the giant Papa Smurf doll. The porno mags should fetch a decent profit too once we scan them all in and upload them to Chase_Porno_4_U.com."

Jackson, now living with his mother is for all practical purposes .. broke unable to afford an umbrella holder even. His latest album in fact sold 6 copies worldwide .. 4 of those copies bought by his brothers Tito, Jermaine and whoever else was a part of that group.

Hence Michael J Jackson is, as stated in the last paragraph for all practical purposes .. BROKE. Living with his mama. In the basement. With the 2 cats Myrtle and Fluffkins.

Janet Jackson, who came to the aide of her brother before when he was behind on a 4 million dollar monthly payment on the ranch says that she's sorry but can't bail him out this time with the price of gas the way it is.

"My limo only gets 11 miles to the gallon" Janet told reporters. I wish Micheal well and hope he .. comes out with a decent album or something. Mom says Michael and the cats aren't getting along too well in that basement."

Joe Jackson, father of the Jacksons said,

"He can stay here a few more days then if he doesn't find a .. job I'm KILL'n the **** !!!. "

Tough love but sometimes tough love is what it takes to re-superStar a superStar. Micheal Jackson, neighbors say laments no more the loss of Neverland Ranch but greets them each morning with a hearty "hi" on his way to get the morning paper.

"He BETTER bring me my paper every morning the BUM" Joe Jackson told reporters adding "Even as a CHILD I had to just WHIP his ever lovin .. uh .. can I say the word *** on live TV?"

WRQL reporters told Joe Jackson "no".

Chase Bank, almost done with the repossessing says they're pleased with their haul and expect to EBAY quite a bit of "unusual memorabilia" just as soon as, one Chase executive said, Ebay "lighten's up on it's restrictive posting policies". He went on to add,

"We could pull in 40 grand easily on just one of Jackson's .. uh .. can I say this on live TV?"

WRQL told the Chase executive "No. On HBO maybe but not on WQRL."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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