Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 16 August 2011

image for The number of 'Strictly' shows to be expanded
Strictly No Littering set to be canned a week after it starts

After the latest viewing figures for Strictly Come Dancing show that this form of reality television remains as inexplicably popular as ever, the BBC intend to expand the stable.

"For example, in late Autumn we're going to be showing Strictly No Parking said Acting-Head of Light Entertainment (A-HoLE), Perry Bulmer. "We've already got David Jason lined up to host this show about celebrities learning how to park with professional driving instructors. The pilot for the show was a hoot!"

Also coming up, possibly in the spring of 2012, is Strictly No Camping which will follow the exploits of two dozen celebrities as they learn scouting.

"Kind of like an English based I'm a Celebrity," said Bulmer. "We're in negotiations with Kerry Katona to host this one."

Strictly no Photography will see undercover celebs running the gauntlet of museum staff as they attempt to bag the elusive pictures of artworks from around the world, including the Sistine Chapel and the Mona Lisa.

"David Bailey has asked if he can host this show," said Bulmer. "However, we didn't know who he was, so we said no. We've asked Alan Carr instead."

Finally, for the moment, Strictly no Entry will see the last remaining Z-Listers not already taken up by other shows learn how to break into houses from top cat buglers and home invaders.

"We're not currently sure who will be hosting this yet," said Bulmer. "We're thinking Dom Littlewood. His time's quite tight at the moment though, what with his CBBC Children's TV Show Increasing Your Pocket Money Through Extortion."

ITV bosses have eyed the schedule jealously, and are wondering how they can cash in.

"How about XY-Factor?" asked Si Durr, Bulmer's opposite number at ITV.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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