Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 16 August 2011

image for Jennifer Aniston's New Nude Workout Video Is Flying Off The Shelves
Jennifer's new nude workout video is selling like hot cakes. (Photo courtesy of Picasso Mandolin).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston reports that she hasn't been as happy as she is now since back when she was still strutting her stuff as Mrs. Brad Pitt.

The 42-year-old actress who many say is much better looking than Angelina Jolie, who stole Jen's husband Brad, is riding high with a new boyfriend and a brand new workout video that is destined to break records.

Jennifer's new man is Justin Theroux, whom she says treats her like a queen and even bought her a tiara for their three month anniversary.

Aniston was asked about her brand new nude workout video. She blushed and said that at first she was hesitant to do the video but she was finally convinced by Justin who told her that it would be a slap in the face to Jolie who reportedly has had some cellulite creep up on her upper thighs, as well as some noticeable sagging in the knockers department.

Jennifer said that after spending hours looking in her full length mirror and virtually scoping out her body from every possible angle she came to the conclusion that she in fact does have quite a flawless body for a woman of 42, or even for a woman of 22, for that matter.

After taking it over with Justin they decided that they wanted one of the world's leading photographers to shoot the workout video. And they called up Picasso Mandolin who readily agreed to do the video.

Mandolin was in Paris, France shooting some semi-nude layouts of France's "First Lady" Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in the famous Louvre Museum, but he soon finished and he met with Aniston at her Hollywood Hills home.

The video shoot was actually shot at a secluded beach not far from Malibu Beach. Justin was the only person allowed at the shoot and he served to give Jennifer inspiration which Mandolin said really made Miss Jennifer open up and come out of her shell even more.

Mandolin later spoke with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo and he told her that he figured that Aniston would have been more like the sex-starved nympho that she had portrayed in Horrible Bosses.

San Guacamole noted that Jennifer portrayed a dentist named Dr. Julia Harris who is probably one of the sexiest, horniest, most sensuous nymphomaniacal movie females to ever appear in a motion picture.

Jennifer's new nude workout video is literally flying off the store shelves. Store managers are having to hire security guards to prevent any altercations between the shoppers as occurred at a Walmart in Walla Walla, Washington when a 345 pound woman tackled a 185 pound man who was holding the last Aniston video in the entire store.

Aniston stated that she will be donating a portion of the profits from the nude workout video to purchase dental floss and pets for the needy children of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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