Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Music, Paul Simon

Monday, 15 August 2011

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Can you trust the music?

Pop superstar Paul Simon is at the centre of another storm over claims that he doesn't mean what he writes.

Mr Simon shot to fame in the 1960's as half of the duo Simon & Garfunkel with such worldwide smash hits as The Sound of Silence and Scarborough Fair.

He subsequently enjoyed solo success with songs such as Me And Julio Down By The School Yard and Still Crazy After All These Years.

Now he has admitted that sometimes his fans put their own meanings into his songs.

"Sometimes they're not the ones I intended. They hear something that's more meaningful to what I was thinking. You can't win 'em all," he said.

This admission has incensed Mr Graeme Literal-Gitt, of Horbury, West Yorkshire.

Earlier this year Mr Literal-Gitt said he was preparing to sue Mr Simon over the innaccuracies he claimed could be discerned in the hit song 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.

Following Mr Simon's admission, he said: "What are we coming to when we can't rely songwriters of Paul Simon's stature to get it right themselves? I don't expect to have to listen to his songs and find my own meanings!

"I have been doing some thorough research into this man's music. Did you know he wrote a song called The Only Living Boy In New York? Well, I looked into this, and there was never a time when he could have been the titular hero.

"It's also probably highly unlikely that he was ever having it off with some tart called Cecilia up in his bedroom and found her bonking someone else after he washed his face!

"This man needs to be stopped."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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