Performing to pensioners on Margate pier, Alvin Stardust cuts a tragic figure, his glittery platform boots no longer the guaranteed fast-track to celebrity they once were. But most Brits still remember Mr Stardust fondly for his 70s hits such as "Coo-coo-ca-choo" and the other one.
Now Alvin has reason to celebrate, for he has just discovered that he has a long-lost brother. He spoke exclusively to me after every other media outlet denied his requests for publicity.
"I were on t'internet t'other day, and I thought I'd look up t'Stardust family tree. And by gum, would t'fooking believe it, I've got t'long-lost brother, by the name of Ziggy."
Mr Stardust heard about his brother Ziggy on the internet, and hopes to meet up with him soon. It turns out that Ziggy goes by the stage name of David Bowie, and by an amazing coincidence he also became famous during the glam era of popular music in the 70s.
"Obviously wearing glitter must run in the family. I always knew I had glam in me blood. And by another amazing coincidence we're also the only remaining 70s glam rockers who aren't on the sex offenders register."