Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: University, Jedward

Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Jedward awarded honorary music degree
Jedward's new direction, with most of the wood removed.

Eastbourne's University at the Municipal Swimming Pool has awarded dancing and singing whatevers (they do neither well) and walking toilet brushes Jedward with honorary degrees in music.

'This is just like, so awesome' said one of the Brothers. 'It is proof that we are musical giants' said the other 'Who you gonna call?'

A spokesman for the University told us: 'It has all been a terrible mistake. We sent in the wrong list. We have awarded Jordan a degree in Counselling, and David Cameron a degree in Sociology. We had a proper list, and a joke list, and we sent the wrong one of. So now we have all of these people coming to collect degrees they have neither paid for, or earnt. We had some really good people on the proper list as well. It should have been a great day. Still, at least it has put the university on the map'.

We have learnt that a similar mishap happened with Jedward at this year's Eurovision song contest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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