Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Simon Cowell's Latest Cash Cow - Royal Family To Appear In Reality TV Series Set On Burnley Council Estate
I Fuckin' Love Burnley Me I Do - Up The Clarets! And Fuck The Bastard Rovers (Attributed but not substantiated)

According to sources, impressario Simon Cowell is planning to top his mega-selling TV cash cows, X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent, by producing a new reality TV show, which will involve the Royal Family moving into council accommodation on the Stoops Estate in Burnley.

For six weeks.

Insiders say that Cowell's SiCo production company have secured short term leases on four semi-detached council houses on Harold Avenue, on Stoops Estate, and are currently negotiating with the Royals with regard to moving in as a social experiment.

"They should be all right at the end of Harold Avenue," one insider opined. "They'll be close to a chippy and an offie, and there's a garage across t' road in case they run out of bread, or milk or summat. Plus, if they need to make a run for it, Rossendale Road's more or less next door, and that provides easy access to Manchester. If they 'ave to flee in t' other direction, they can access th' M6 southbound via Padiham, to Salmesbury. They'll be reet. Though. Mate."

Local sources say that they doubt that Prince Philip, Princes William and Harry, the Queen, Kate and Pippa Middleton, Princess Anne and Prince Andrew will be up for a few jars and a fucking big ruck down Accy Road, explaining that they'd probably prefer to spend a low key evening in the Rosegrove Unity Working Men's Club, having a game of bingo and listening to that nonce play his Hammond organ.

A spokesperson for the Royal Family stated that the Royals were absolutely "fahcking enchanted" by the prospect of spending six weeks on a Burnley council estate.

Although not enamoured by the prospect of having the Royal corgies all chewed up to fuck by the local pit bulls.

One local commented:

"It'll be reet."

More as we get it.

Although we're still not sure where this was sourced.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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