Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Sandra Bullock Has Confessed To Being A Closet "Snuff Dipper" AKA "Tobacco Chewer"
Some of Sandra's close friends would much rather that she go back to smoking cigarettes.

HOLLYWOOD - Word coming out of Tinsel Town is that Sandra Bullock appears to have taken up a habit that can only be described as downright disgusting.

According to Hollywood Innuendo reporter Missy Wonderbox, the Oscar winning actress has admitted to being a closet smokeless tobacco chewer aka snuff dipper.

She said that she got the nauseatingly repulsive habit of dipping snuff when she was married to her then husband the much tattooed, wandering wienered Jesse "Messy" James.

Close friends of Bullocks cannot believe that she has taken up such a sickeningly gross habit which is usually only engaged in by some of the more hardcore redneck good old boys.

Miss Wonderbox learned that it is extremely rare to ever see a female engaging in this chewing tobacco practice and when one does the female 'dipper' usually looks a little bit more like Roseanne "Macadamia Nuts" Barr than Sandra "The Movie Star" Bullock.

One of Bullock's closest friends Desdemona Poggenpohl, 39, has said that she is going to try to do everything within her power to see to it that Sandy drops his filthy habit.

Desde spoke with Miss Wonderbox and told her that since Sandy took up the obnoxious habit that she has not kissed her on the mouth once and even kissing her on the cheek is not a good thing because the stench of the chewing tobacco is so powerful that it could literally wilt an evergreen bush.

Miss Poggenpohl says that the last time she visited Sandy at her Austin mansion she noticed that there were white Styrofoam spitting cup receptacles all over the house.

She angrily added that if Bullock does not give up this nasty, disgusting habit soon that she may find herself living all alone like old Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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