Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for America's Got Talent: Psychedelic Bicyclist Matt Wilhelm Wows The Crowd and Judges
Sharon Osbourne loved Gabe the British Bulldog and said he looks a little like Piers Morgan.

HOLLYWOOD - The YouTube edition of America's Got Talent managed to showcase some acts that quickly found favor with the AGT judges and the studio audience.

Certainly one of the night's favorites was a young Chicagoan named Matt Wilhelm who has taken the art of bicycle tricks to a brand new level.

Matt performs some amazing break dancing feats on a bike in the dark, under black lights, and dressed in a fluorescent outfit which is quite very unique.

Sharon Osbourne called him the Fred Astaire of ballroom bicycling. Howie Mandel said that as he was performing his fabulous two-wheeled routine he kept looking at his bike and imagining that it was Ginger Rogers.

Meanwhile Piers Morgan said that both Sharon and Howie were mad and that Matt was more like the Ron Jeremy of bicycle artists.

America's Got Talent Host Nick "The Drinking Straw" Cannon told Piers to remember that he was not at home and that he was in front of a national audience of young kids, grandparents, and a few immature adults like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Charlie Sheen.

Morgan apologized and remarked that Nick looked good in his new suit and asked if his lovely and talented wife Mariah Carey had dressed him.

Nick grinned and said that his honey woman sure nuff had and he then turned the tables and asked Morgan why he had not bothered to look in the mirror before he left his dressing room.

"Good one Nicky boy!" Sharon shouted out.

"Way to kick Mr. Pompous in his pomps Nicolas." Howie hollered out.

And with that Morgan retorted by saying "Stick and stones, my dear Mr. Cannon. Sticks and stones."

Nick shook his head and said that Piers needs to stop trying to act like a Simon Cowell wannabe. Cannon then pointed out that Piers was just mad because Gabe the Bulldog had earlier come out and peed on a stand up cardboard likeness of the one and thankfully the only Piers "Pouts" Morgan.

Other performers who were well received included singer Kevin Colis of New Braunfels, Texas, who has a very good voice and more curls than little Shirley Temple ever had.

And the evenings scariest group with the most unscary name The West Springfield Dance Team who really won the audience over as they performed dressed as zombies complete with frightful contact lenses, dark outfits, and real machetes.

Howie commented that the group looked like Piers Morgan before he puts on his Cover Girl makeup. Kelly Osbourne's mama, Sharon giggled so much at his remark that she whispered to Howie that he almost made her pee in her pants.

Morgan heard the remark and quipped, "Well, it doesn't take much to sexually excite you now does it Mrs. Osbourne?"

In other news. Governor Rick Perry of Texas has stated that if he decides to run in the GOP presidential race, one on his reasons will be because he cannot stand Sarah "Snowflake" Palin and he wants to show the American people what a real 'hunter' looks like.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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