Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

image for The Christina Aguilera - Kelly Osbourne Feud Is Getting Quite Heated!
Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osbourne are both as mad as a couple of stirred up bumble bees.

NEW YORK CITY - The daughter of America's Got Talent Judge Sharon Osbourne and the rock and roll Prince of Darkness Ozzy Osbourne is showing that she's got a pretty good potty mouth on her and she is not afraid to show it.

Kelly Osbourne, visiting The Big Apple, fired off a below the belt hit (or an above the belt hit actually) at Christina Aguilera by calling her a fat bleached blonde bitch.

It is no secret that Kelly is still upset at the fact that earlier this year Christina referred to her as Kelly "The Belly" because she had gained 19 pounds and 18 of then were in her stomach.

The 26-year-old much-tattooed Osbourne said that at least she does not go around forgetting the words to the most popular song in America, The Star Spangled Banner, which she added was co-written by Francis Scott Key and Neil Sedaka.

Osbourne also noted that Aguilera needs to stop making racist jokes about Beyonce, Oprah, Rihanna, Ke$ha, and Anderson Cooper.

Aguilera retorted by saying that Kelly needs to find a way to cover up her huge tattoos because they look horrible and even Piers Morgan and his fellow America's Got Talent Judge Howie Mandel have both said that they look like something that a carnival worker with an IQ of 27 would have.

Christina said that if one really takes a close look at Kelly's face you will see an amazing resemblance between her and the Pillsbury Doughboy, Poppin Fresh.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I did. And Christina is right.]

Aguilera added that so far Kelly's biggest claim to fame has been appearing on Dancing With The Stars and her appearance in a commercial for a local Los Angeles hamburger chain, Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Haven in which Kelly played the part of a French fry.

In a breaking news story. Massachusetts has just passed a bill that really comes down hard on anyone caught smoking in a public building. Violators will now be fined $1,000 for the first offense along with having their lips tasered.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

7 24 15 6

Go to top