Written by Moys Kenwood
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Friday, 29 July 2011

image for Twitter To Ban Twits
"My T-shirt is mostly black, and I'm wearing a fake gold watch"

Twitter, the social networking and microblogging phenomenon that has taken the world by storm since it appeared on the scene five years ago, is to ban 'twits', those idiots, imbeciles, dolts and dullards who constantly clog up its facility with inane rantings about the minutest of details in their sad and sorry personal lives.

Postings on Twitter, known as 'Tweets' are thought to number as many as 350million per day, with 98% of this number being published by twits, and administrators at the site have confessed that they are struggling to monitor them all.

Twitter creator, Jack Dorsey, is also concerned over the number of twats currently accessing Twitter, whom, he claims:

"need a good twatting".

I am typing this.

This story contains 140 words, which is exactly the same number of characters twits are allowed to type on Twitter.

Make Moys Kenwood's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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