Written by Lady Godiva
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Tuesday, 26 July 2011

image for Mike Tindall's future mother-in-law must 'butt out' Zara Phillips says. It's only a nose.
One for the Royal album

Zara Phillips has asked her mother, Princess Anne to stop talking about Mike's nose. Apparently Zara likes it just the way it is.

It has been hinted by some Royals that Mike should have his nose 'corrected' surgically, before the upcoming nuptuals but Mike is refusing. They don't like his wonky teeth either and would like him to have a set like Princess Anne's.

His nose has its own Facebook account and has many follows. Fans often request signed photos of just his nose.

It took seven fractures to get it 'just right' and Mike's not undergoing the knife again as he knows (no pun intended) that the famous nose is probably looking at a couple more fractures before he retires from Rugby so what would be the point?

One easy solution would be to have opposing players tackle him from the other side and send his nose to the left. If that can be achieved seven times then it should correct the 'bend' naturally without requiring surgery.

The fact that Mike only has one 'functioning' nostril is not a problem for Zara, who sleeps with her headphones on listening to music anyway. If Mike snores, Zara never hears it.

Princess Anne has apparently given the wedding photographer strict instructions on HOW (from which angle etc) to take the wedding photographs so as to not let Mike's nose 'spoil' the wedding album.

It was suggested by one Royal family member that Mike wear a fake nose, just for the wedding, but Mike being Mike told this particular family member to go take a long walk off a short pier and leave his hands clasped behind his back when doing so.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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