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Sunday, 24 July 2011

image for Popular US Sitcom Enters Ninety-Fourth Season
Yes, I know it's an old Joke.

There was excitement on British shores today as Cable Telly released news that the latest series of hugely popular US sitcom For Fuck's Sake! will soon be on our screens.

Producer Martha Flogger, who created the series with David Deadhorse back in 1999, thinks UK audiences will like what they see.

"It's going to be great." she told me in an interview they eagerly arranged when the CEO of Warner told them that yes, the European markets did fucking matter, and if they didn't wearily do a round of four minute interviews in a London hotel, they could kiss goodbye to a cash cow.

"Obviously Josh Smug, who played Sam has left the series to the battle his Oxycodone addiction. And we parted ways with Jane Smitch who played Samantha because she started getting too big for her boots, was looking a bit old and I've always hated her."

"But we've got in Glen Pruck to play Sam's cousin Stan, who looks a bit like him, is going to live in the same apartment, and anyway, is going to be delivering all the lines we wrote for Josh before we suddenly found out he got ill."

Deadhorse is equally enthusiastic "We've got in Hazel Screech to play Mizzi, who is just zany. Frankly, we were fresh out of ideas by then and just needed someone hyperactive to fill out screen time, however irritating."

Both Flogger and Deadhorse point out that the rotating pool of writers they hire and fire at will are still to be crammed into the same room as they've always been in, ensuring some consistency.

And British audiences are in for a surprise!

Tyler Bratt, 8, will be playing Ben, a cute kid just in town who comes to stay with long standing show stalwarts Larry Pants (Dan) and Sandy Perm (Terri) for some reason never rationally explained.

"Cute kids always add to the quality of a sitcom, don't they?" Flogger says, looking somewhat anxious, "at least that's what Warner told me when they noticed viewing figures dropping in the vital Hicksville and senility demographics."

The cast and crew have found working with Tyler a learning experience, and whilst any spoilt little shit who is used to always getting what he wants can have his funny little ways now and then, word is that the seasoned veterans have enjoyed the challenge of working with Tyler. And his parents. And all their agents. And all their fucking lawyers.

Opinion is split between US and UK entertainment analysts as to whether FFS!, as it's come to be known, is going from strength to strength or actually went down the pan in 2001 and is limping along bleeding like a mortally wounded badger.

Comparisons have been made with Fawlty Towers, widely regarded as the apotheosis of the sitcom, which only did two seasons.

On this issue, there is great sadness in US circles at what might have been

LA TV critic Justin Plump imagines a Fawlty Towers where John Cleese has left, handing the running of the hotel over to his jovial, wise-cracking half-brother, played by John Candy.

And, with Connie Booth gone, Tracy Ullman comes in as her bubbly old university friend Lindi, who cheers up the older residents with her heart-warming ways.

"This would have allowed Andrew Sacks to really develop the character of Manuel" Plump opines, "by repeating 'Que?' 76 times an episode, pratfalling and mugging constantly to camera."

"Plus they never really developed the art of turning the laugh track up really loud and tinting the film so bright it seems like you're on magic mushrooms."

UK fans of For Fucks Sake! will need to set their digiboxes, as it will only be on Sky1, Sky Atlantic, Comendy Central, Comedy Central Xtra, FX, E4, BBC3 and Dave for the rest of their fucking lives.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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