Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 22 July 2011

image for The Story Behind The Randy Jackson Vs. Cedric The Entertainer Feud
Cedric The Entertainer at the age of two, entertaining his nanny Bonnie Nickipicky with some knock-knock jokes.

AVOCADO HEIGHTS - One of the judges of American Idol, Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson was sitting at a Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner in Avocado Heights when he was asked what he thought about the new game show It's Worth What?

Jackson put down his chicken wing, wiped his mouth and hands, and said that he positively hated it.

Redwood Fingerboo of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle asked him why he hated the show hosted by Cedric The Entertainer.

Jackson took a deep breath. He put down a hush puppy and said that he likes Cedric and the two have even gone out drinking at a Califas Cerveza Cantina in West Covina but insisted that the show stinks.

Randy said that he kept track with an abacus that his grandmother had given him when he was six and Cedric uttered the phrase it's worth whattt??? a total of 85 times.

The American Idol judge also said that he has never heard of a game show having only two players who were both on the same team.

"Where the hell is the competition in that" he asked as he took a sip from his bottle of Corona Light.

He emphasized that game shows need to have several teams with at least one player and maybe as many as three players on each team in order to make it exciting.

Jackson said that the two white female contestants, the young one and the old one, were about as exciting as red sawdust on the floor of a damn cheap ass bar in Nogales, Arizona.

Fingerboo asked Jackson if he at least liked seeing some of the old museum items such as the propeller from the Titanic, a loincloth that once belonged to Chief Sitting Bull, a jock strap that Milwaukee Braves pitcher Lew Burdette wore during the 1957 World Series, and the girdle that Dustin Hoffman wore in the movie Tootsie.

Randy replied that he has seen all that stuff already on the Internet, except for Chief Sitting Bull's loin cloth which he actually saw in person at The Hunkpapa Lakota Sioux Commemorative Museum located in La Habra Heights.

When Cedric was told of Randy Jackson's comments he hit the roof. He called Randy every expletive from A to Z and then said that "The Black Dawg" has some onions saying that his expression it's worth whattt??? was boring.

Ceddy, as his hair stylist calls him, said that Jackson himself uses the most boring phrase in the history of boring phrases when he says to the young contestants, hey sorry dawg, but that was pitchy.

Cedric noted that Simon Cowell wrote in his book, Yes, Yes, I Know I Always Wear Dark Effen T-Shirts So What? that during the 10 seasons that Jackson has been an AI judge that he has used the word pitchy a total of 1,719 times.

In fact the producer of American Idol had Jackson's personal parking space changed to read from Mr. R. Jackson to Mr. Pitchy.

Cedric said that he and Jackson are into a first rate feud now and that the next time he runs into Randy he is going to probably do a Mike Tyson number on both of his ears.

In other news. The temperatures down in Laredo, Texas have been hitting the 108 mark and a local chicken farmer told Laredo's KGNS TV Channel 8 News that some of his chickens are actually starting to lay hard-boiled eggs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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