It's time once again for the annual throng of unemployed teenagers, underemployed thirty somethings, and over forty unmarried geeks to don their favorite super hero costumes and celebrate all things related to comic books and fantasy adventure movies. Entertaining the hapless masses will be special appearances by the ultra hot Sophia Vergara and Pam Anderson.
Banking on the women's ability to draw larger crowds, especially among those who have a propensity to download pictures of the stars from the Internet, Comic-Con Media Director, Ophilia Selph says, "We do expect to cater a bit to the fantasies of our mostly single male participants. Sophia and Pam just need to stand there, look good and hand out pictures. Nature will take care of the rest".
Expecting the attending Wookies, Spidermen, Han Solos, Mr. Spocks and Ironmen to need a place to feel good about themselves, literally, extra portable bathroom stalls and complimentary travel sized boxes of tissues will be provided at the convention. "It's easy to spot them heading to the bathrooms with fresh pictures in their moist little hands", says Selph. "But, that's OK. As long as they enjoyed their time at the convention".
One man in a goatee and a brown robe was seen exiting a stall with a slight bead of sweat across his hairline and a twitching bicep on his right arm commented, "I'm Lando Calrissian from the Planet Bespin, and this is the BEST CONVENTION EVER!"
It should be noted that although the original Star Wars character was played by Billie D. Williams, the convention participant in question was 5 foot 7 inches tall, 290 pounds and white. Though in the spirit of fair and balanced reporting, he did appear to be happy.