Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Wednesday, 20 July 2011

image for Beckhams Named Baby Harper After Future Star Trek Character
Temple of Scientology Communicating with the Mother Ship

David and Victoria Beckham have revealed that they named their baby after a character from a Star Trek film that hasn't even been made yet.

The character will be played by Tom Cruise, and the Beckham's got to hear about the name while they were all having a cup of tea together at the Scientology Temple of Alien Worship.

Tom happened to say he was very annoyed with the Star Trek script writers because they had given his character a really stupid name. But Victoria said "Harper. I like that. That's what we'll call our baby, David."

Tom is said to have tried to disuade her from naming the baby after a Science fiction character, because only top Scientologist are allowed to do that. But Victoria was very happy with her baby's name and has now announced it to the world.

A meeting has been held with America's top Scientologists and they are planning an intervention with Victoria to see if they can get her to call her baby something else less offensive to their religion like... Jesus or Buddha.

Tom Cruise will start filming the new Star Trek film, which is thought to be called "Star Trek and the Big Scientology Conversion Drive" next Tuesday, but only if he donates enough money. If not, the role will go to the next highest bidder. Possibly Kirsty Ally or Peaches Geldof.

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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