Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

image for Katie Holmes Joins Charlie Sheen on Set of Anger Management
One breakfast plate, ready to be tossed against the wall, courtesy of Dr. Bunny Rydell

Following the recent announcement of Charlie Sheen for the new Sit-Com "Anger Management", Katie Holmes was confirmed to play Sheen's foil in the series, albeit with seven detailed pages of contingencies attached to the deal.

In a surprise alignment of roles, Sheen has agreed to play the part of Adam Sandler from the original movie, continuing the pattern of meek behavior and repressed anger played by Sandler. "Yes, well we think that will be a stretch for Charlie", says assistant producer Lou Sinsteem. "Not sure he can actually repress anger and play meek, but here's hoping!"

The selection of Holmes on the other hand is even more of a shocker to television insiders, given her slight stature, soft spoken nature and kind facial features. "We thought that too until she read for the part. I guess a few years with Mr. Cruise put her over the edge", says Sinsteem. "She's going to make a great pissed off Jack Nicholson in the series. You should see her throw a dinner plate. Now that's energy!"

Still looking for a network to air the series, filming continues in earnest on the first nine episodes. Producers are banking on the salability of the Sheen/Holmes combination to win a new network home, but remain concerned over prejudgment for the suitability of the actors in their assigned roles. "I'm still not sure Sheen will work out, or even show up for work, and Holmes as the psychologist? I need an aspirin", says Sinsteem.

Reprising Nicholson's role as Dr. Buddy Rydell, Holmes will play Dr. Bunny Rydell and use the same advertising cues for her Anger Management practice. Her business card will read, "Know Bunny Cares". Producers worry that the slogan may be too prophetic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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