Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 17 July 2011

image for Lewis Hamilton To Marry!
'Cat-Lover' Lewis Hamilton

British Formula 1 racing driver Lewis Hamilton has announced he is to marry a cat. The twenty-six year old 2008 Formula One World Champion who currently drives for McLaren made the surprise announcement to the press yesterday following widespread rumors that he was intending to marry a cottage loaf he'd been engaged to since 2007. That relationship apparently reached it's sell by date last month when the cottage loaf began seeing a knob of butter.

"We had some fun times together" Lewis said yesterday "but when I found out the loaf had been seeing a knob of butter behind my back it was clear our relationship had become stale and mouldy. Even a famous racing driver can't compete with a knob of butter. I'll never look at a cottage loaf again"

As one door closes so another one opens. Soon after ditching the cottage loaf from his life Lewis came across a pussycat one morning in his back garden and gave it a saucer of milk to drink. He says they've been inseparable ever since that day.

"I proposed down on one knee last Thursday," he said, a little red-faced and embarrassed, "and my little pussycat sort of replied yes. We'll probably have our wedding in Las Vegas where they allow people to marry cats. It's quite expensive but money is no object to me when it comes to my little pussycat."

The date of the wedding has not yet been finalised but Mr Hamilton said they wanted it to be fairly soon, some time within the next few months, followed by a long lazy honeymoon on some remote tropical island."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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