BRONX, New York - After learning that her fellow judges Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson and Steven "Lips" Tyler have agreed to return to the number one reality show on television American Idol, J.Lo has just announced that she to will be back sitting in the judges middle chair.
The triple threat super star, who was just named by People Magazine as 'The Most Beautiful Woman in The World' says that the shows producer Simon Shindlebocker had asked her last week to please return to the show.
She informed him that she was still on the fence and had not yet decided if she really wanted to return or not. She said that she had lots and lots of offers to film all kinds of cosmetic commercials, hair product commercials, jewelry commercials, pantiliner commercials, and underwear commercials.
Shindlebocker texted J.Lo and told her that he would be willing to give her one hell of a raise from what her salary was last year. He also told her that if she wanted he would get rid of Jackson and Tyler and hire two new judges.
Jennifer informed him that she loved working with "The Black Dawg" and "Lips" and that she would agree to take the tremendous salary increase and allow Randy and Steven to continue being her fellow judges.
She did tell Shindlebocker that she wanted for him to fire that skinny little metro dude Ryan Seacrest. Shindlebocker almost fainted.
J.Lo saw that he was starting to turn extremely pale, kind of like Marcia Cross of Desperate Housewives and she told him that she was just kidding.
She said that she really liked Ryan and that her husband Marc Anthony also liked him because he knows that there is no way that Skippy as Simon Cowell, alias The Sultan of Sarcasm had nicknamed him two years ago would ever even remotely think about flirting with his wife.
Jennifer also asked that she been given a special chair that is manufactured in Portugal and which costs $17,000 but is made from the most comfortable material known to man.
She giggled and said that her humongous ass is worth it. She also said that she wants the show to purchase a police type baton so that she can use it if Randy and/or Steven get a little bit out of hand.
J.Lo said that she does not want to give off the impression that she is a diva or anything but she added that she does want her dressing room to have a big screen TV, a jacuzzi, an ice maker, lobsters flown in from Maine, potato chips flown in from Ireland, egg rolls flown in from China, and enchiladas flown in from Mexico.
Simon Shindlebocker smiled and said "Done."