Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 10 July 2011

image for Animal Rights Group Plans Plenty of Protests Regarding The Treatment of Animals In The Movie "Zookeeper"
Rudy the Rhino appears in the just released movie "Zookeeper." (Photo courtesy of Piper Palin).

TARZANA - A spokesperson for a nationwide animal rights organization has stated that his highly vocal and animated group recently met in Tarzana, California and discussed taking to the streets in protests against the movie Zookeeper which just opened and stars Kevin James of Kings of Queens fame.

The group has stated that they tried to meet with the executives of the motion picture but where told that they do not meet with groups who really can't do anything to advance the success of the movie with their praise, critiques, or rave reviews.

Spokesperson Ribby Reisenheimer told Redwood Fingerboo of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that her group is upset due to the way that several animals were allegedly treated or rather mistreated during the filming of the movie.

Fingerboo asked Mrs. Reisenheimer for some specific instances. She took out a small notepad and said that for one thing Rudy the Rhino was allowed to get so close to Fanny the Flamingo that he stepped on her one good leg.

She added that now Fanny the Flamingo is known as Fanny the laying about Flamingo and is very depressed.

Mrs. Reisenheimer also noted that Pollyanna the Parrot had somehow gotten too close to one of the boa constrictors (Tabby) and she ended up in Tabby's mouth.

Luckily one of the assistant animal trainers saw what was happening and she hit Tabby on the head with a handy 44 oz. Manny Ramirez Louisville Slugger baseball bat causing her to turn poor little Pollyanna loose.

Pollyanna took off flying like a scalded dog and once zoo employees finally managed to catch up to her half a mile later they noticed that Pollyanna did lose a few feathers.

Reports are that she will be scheduled for counseling and therapy as she is extremely traumatized about the whole incident and has not uttered any of the 293 words she knows since the horrible incident.

Mrs. Reisenheimer said that the organization demands that at least 25 percent of the movie profits be donated to the organization so that they can help to feed, care for, and clothe (yes clothe) some the thousands of animals that they house in shelters throughout the United States, Canada, and Lower Zamgola.

The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that they did receive a text message from a movie spokesperson and this is what the text message said: GTH. FY. & KOA.

In a related story. Another movie that also just opened is Horrible Bosses, which is doing very well and which reportedly has bosses all over the United States looking over their shoulders.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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