Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for Russell Brand Denies That He Purchased Nude Photos of Pippa Middleton
Russell Brand says that he has never seen any nude photos of Pippa Middleton.

NEW YORK CITY - Russell Brand appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and was asked about how his marriage to Katy Perry is going.

Brand giggled and said that things are great and that he is so happy that he finally decided to settle down with just one girl instead of having a different girl each and every single night.

A stunned Morgan asked him why he felt that way. Russell took a sip from his glass of beer and replied that it was really getting quite hard to try and remember all of the different names.

He said if he had a nickel for every time he called a Donna, Daisy, or a Linda, Lizzy he'd probably have about 700 nickels.

Piers took a sip from his beer and replied that he had never had that problem.

Russell took another sip of beer, leaned back in his chair, and replied, "Of course you haven't old chap."

Morgan then asked him about the alleged nude photographs of Pippa Middleton that he supposedly had purchased from an undisclosed source.

Brand took two sips of his beer and remarked that he had heard that very same rumor and that he wanted to clear the air and say that not only does he not have any photographs of Pippa Middleton, he has never seen any.

Morgan looked at him and said "So then it is all just hearsay I gather."

And Brand answered that it was all just hearsay to be gathered and placed in the hearsay bin.

Morgan and Brand each took a sip of beer and agreed that should one or the other ever come across a nude photo of Pippa they will certainly let the other one know right away.

In other news. Comedian Gilbert Gottfried is reportedly still missing. Brooklyn's Salvatore Goombalini was asked if he knew anything about his whereabouts and he replied, "Gilbert Gottfried, the professional golfer?...never heard of 'em."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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