Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson And Rupert Grint Not Killed in Tragic Car Accident
I'm Not A Chicken! Sod Off!

Spokespersons for Twilight and Harry Potter teen movie idols, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint today moved extremely quickly to quash rumours that the famous fivesome had met a tragic demise in a car accident somewhere on I81, near Columbus, Ohio.

"As far as I'm aware," one representative announced. "All five are alive and well, and haven't, to the best of my knowledge been anywhere near Columbus, Ohio. Let alone been involved in a fatal accident. It's my opinion that there are some very sick puppies out there who will say just about anything to sell newspapers. This kind of thing is best ignored."

Inside sources later revealed that Pattinson, Stewart, Radcliffe, Watson and Grint had all pretty much got up out of bed as usual this morning, and that none had been anywhere near Columbus, Ohio.

Although a source close to Rupert Grint revealed that the actor actually admitted that his hair doesn't look quite as ginger when he steps out of the shower, although this hasn't yet been verified.

A spokesman for the Ohio State Police said that she had no information whatsoever regarding a tragic car accident on I81 near Columbus, Ohio, and that she had no reason at all to believe that Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, or Rupert Grint had been involved in a tragic car accident on I81 near Columbus, Ohio.

In related news, chicken breasts are on special offer at Wal-Mart in Columbus Ohio and are currently on sale for $3.95 for two.

More when the LOL woman makes it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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